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February 2010 NewsletterGreetings, Kia Ora koutou katoa we hope this finds you all well. We can and do make a difference in a child’s life. We ALL walk this path and share this journey together. Your Voices: On Stuff: OPINION: Only parents, who have gone through the experience of raising a handicapped child to adult age, then continue to provide extensive care for him or her for decades after, can describe the emotional toll. To the untrained eye it can be seen as an ultimate labour of love, a decision to surrender freedom in their senior years to be instead tied to the needs of another adult. Yet some people in this position complain they are unable to make that sacrifice, because they cannot afford to do what a complete stranger will get paid for. The absence of Government financial support for these parents denies many of them the opportunity to continue providing full time care for their children. As a result, those children move into a new and unknown environment, where their caregiver will be paid to look out for their needs. A group of nine parents have lobbied against the present rules, which have been adhered to by successive governments, and last week they celebrated a major victory, only to have it tempered by a Government announcement that it would probably appeal. The Human Rights Review Tribunal ruled parents who care for severely disabled adult children should be eligible to receive payment. Health Minister Tony Ryall was on the scene before the champagne corks were popped, declaring an appeal was likely. The minister maintains the decision has implications "far beyond the disability sector". Mr Ryall may well see complications ahead if the Government's hand is forced on the issue, but similarly he cannot argue two wrongs make a right. It is absurd that a family should have to expel a child from the home because the money needed to care for him or her will only be paid to a third party. The present system would appear to make no economic sense either, because it cannot possibly cost the taxpayer less to place a severely disabled adult with a paid caregiver. Indeed, the tribunal found the financial impact of paying the family members was "not likely" to be great within the disability sector, and the policy "acted against the objectives of the Government's disability strategy". The discrimination against parents is also reflected in the policy that denies grandparents who become primary caregivers for their children's children access to the same Government assistance which is made available should the same children be placed with foster parents. In both cases, the legislation is counter productive to keeping family units together. That makes Mr Ryall's comments on Friday all the more disappointing. Chief human rights commissioner Rosslyn Noonan says any appeal would "constitute a further unconscionable delay in ensuring these long suffering families can finally receive justice". It is a point the Government should consider before electing to appeal. While it might win support for aiming to keep the purse strings drawn, it is likely to take some telling body blows as individuals come forward to tell their stories of unsupported sacrifice. They might not need the same pay rates as third-party caregivers, but they deserve some support. Waikato Times. Tua-Tua picking: We went on holiday in the Northland region, and had the opportunity to gather Tua Tuas. We drove along this long surf beach, much to the grandchildren’s delight. With our buckets and knowledge that we were only allowed to take 150 per person, into the low tide we waded. The very first wave knocked poor Pop right off his feet into the water, which the children found hilarious. Nan proceeded to wriggle her toes to find them under the sand and promptly sprained her big toe. “PAIN” Well no option but to place bum in air and dig with fingers. Grand-daughter number one laughed at the sight and said, “Nan why not just stand there and let the sand rush out with the surf and then you can feel them under your feet” Umm yep Nan knew that! NOT. They were plentiful and in a scoop of ones hand would reveal 5 in one hit. The girls shrieked and laughed as they spat at them. Another area we visited only 5 minutes away from the Tua Tua beach is known to the locals as Coca Cola lakes, well this blew us all away. They are truly the colour of Coca Cola caused by brackish water, the mineral content makes your skin and hair feel like silk after swimming in them and the local Maori believe they have healing properties. The simple things in life are just the best. Nan D* From Happy Grandma: Happy New Year to all Grands and you lovely people in the office who work so hard for us: I love your newsletters but some of the reviews you write about make me smile. Last month there was an interesting article about Acne. I can remember my Grandmother telling me the same thing, keep off the fat and sugar, eat your greens and fruit, drink water and get more sleep. Getting the teenagers to listen and try this instead of paying for all sorts of creams is the hard part, there was no advice on that. Wonder how much this research cost. Perhaps these researchers could enlist some of us Grandparents to give them answers to problems and pay us! Gone Fishin’ Teen Grand-daughter loves to fish, off the wharf and recently from a boat. She will bait the hooks and wait for hours in anticipation. She caught a big Butter fish and was highly delighted but would not take it off the hook. Pop had to do that. She watched as they were gutted, fascinated. But would she eat them NO! She hates any type of sea food. All the more for us, yum. Nan Y Health Camps: Wow, that was the best holiday my three moko have been on. The eldest two had been to camp before and were all excited about going. My little guy was a bit reluctant, but we talked about it, packed the bags and off we went. It was so great to be welcomed with a powhiri, it felt so calm, I watched the small group of children, quietly all sitting together. After the welcome we were all invited in to a shared morning tea, the children mixed and mingled, one of the male camp leaders took his time chatting to our boys getting to know them. It was so comforting when they, one by one went through the children's medical needs. Then the bedrooms, my little guy was on cloud nine, all of his fears slowly disappeared, when it was time for me to leave, he barely had time for a cuddle. This was the first time he had been away; the camp staff were aware of his fears and went out of their way to ensure his night problem was addressed before the other children woke. They are still talking about their trips, fishing and sliding down hills and bike riding. What meant so much to all of us, was the report card, the children sat while we shared the comments, it is great that so much care and observations were addressed, like the moko I am so much looking forward to the next holidays, knowing they are having fun in such a safe and caring environment. Thank you to all that made this possible. Nanny Maree We have had very positive feed back about these camps from our members. Particularly Pakuranga, Otaki, Gisborne & Rotorua I have been informed from Head Office of Health Camps that they are taking applications from those Grandparents who have already had their grandchildren go in the January intake. Priority will be given to those who have not attended, but if they have room then they will take those that have attended before. Use GRG Trust as your referrer and send forms direct to Health Camp administration, they do not need to come to us for signing .Study: Kids Safe with Grandmother: New research from the Center for Injury Research and Policy at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health finds that contrary to popular belief, grandparent care is not associated with more childhood injuries. In fact, compared to organised daycare or care by the mother or other relatives, having a grandmother watch a child was associated with a decreased risk of injury for the child. Read the full press release at http://www.jhsph.edu. You can also order Barfoot & Thompson, Age Concern and Safekids NZ “A Guide to Childproofing” for grandparents, babysitter and occasional child minders by emailing: wcarter@adhb.govt.nz FREE Child Injury Prevention Workshops In partnership with 21 local communities across New Zealand, the Safekids Campaign Information & Planning Workshop Series 2010/ 2011 have been scheduled. The themes for the new campaign year are Motor Vehicle Child Passenger Safety and Child Burns Injury Prevention/ Fire Safety. Starting at the end of April till June, Safekids Campaign workshops will be held in: Kaitaia Waitakere Whangarei Rodney Hamilton Rotorua Taupo Whakatane Gisborne Hastings Palmerston North Lower Hutt Invercargill Dunedin Christchurch Greymouth Nelson Auckland Manukau x2 Maori & Pacific Peoples focused workshops have also been scheduled. “The Safekids Campaign workshop series is an opportunity for injury prevention practitioners, agencies, community groups, volunteer services and organisations to receive up-to-date information, data and new resources on the new campaign themes,” said Ann Weaver, Director, Safekids New Zealand. Attendees are invited to actively network across sectors, engage in planning activities, and develop joint strategies for action in their local community to keep children safe from unintentional injuries. Skills development modules on working with data, the media, advocacy and event management will also be available in some workshops. Who should attend: Community leaders and decision makers. Health practitioners working with Tamariki Māori and Whānau; Pacific Peoples; New Migrants. Injury Prevention practitioners, health promoters involved in child health. Plunket, Karitane, Kaiawhina and other Well Child/ Tamariki Ora Service Providers Police, Fire Service and volunteer services. Early Childhood Educators, Kohanga Reo, Pacific Language Nests & child care services. Those working in Local Government, road safety, Road Safety Co-ordinators. Public Health Units. Community and practice nurses, midwifes, lead maternity carers. ACC Injury Prevention Consultants Anyone with an interest in keeping our Tamariki (children) safe. Grandparents raising their grandchildren. For dates, local contact details and more information on the Safekids Campaign Information & Planning Workshops, visit www.safekids.org.nz (2010 Campaign Workshop Schedule) or email Sharlaine at Sharlaine.Chee@adhb.govt.nz.
Letter to Government: We need your help please. We ask that you give consideration to posting the next page letter as soon as you possibly can, no postage required. Fold the base of the letter to cover Dear Prime Minister point, then fold theaddress part to the back so only the address is exposed, staple or seal with a piece of cellotape, then drop in a mail box. Please print it out if you get your newsletter via email. Please feel free to add your own thoughts or issues on how hard it is for you also, only if you feel comfortable doing this. We at the GRG Trust NZ will be also writing to many Ministers and the Human Rights Commission with examples drawn from the latest GRG research 2009 on this matter.
Free Post Prime Minister Hon. John Key Parliament Buildings Wellington
Dear Prime Minister, We are grandparents/Kin raising our grandchildren/whanau children full time because their parents can not or do not want to raise them. Many of these children have suffered abuse in their past lives with their parent/s. Our grandchildren are discriminated against which is in direct conflict of United Nations Convention Rights of the Child (UNCROC).
Article 2 1. States Parties shall respect and ensure the rights set forth in the present Convention to each child within their jurisdiction without discrimination of any kind, irrespective of the child's or his or her parent's or legal guardian's race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national, ethnic or social origin, property, disability, birth or other status.
2. States Parties shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that the child is protected against all forms of discrimination or punishment on the basis of the status, activities, expressed opinions, or beliefs of the child's parents, legal guardians, or family members. Children in Foster care are afforded extras as in clothing allowances, school fees paid, medical expenses, and other add ons. This situation needs to be rectified, the children have suffered enough.
Signature and date:
Print name:
Number of children we are raising:
From the GRG Trust Office Rotorua GRG meeting Date: Wed 3 March 2010 Time: 10:30am Venue: Age Concern 1333 Eruera St, Rotorua Koha appreciated (refreshments, room hire) Organiser: Vanessa Miller GRG Co 07 3456 876. Please phone Vanessa to register your attendance.
Hawkes Bay GRGs: Nola Adams your GRG Co has asked that you please make contact with her if you have not done so in the past. She is an extremely hard working Co-ordinator and has many things that may benefit you being a grandparent raising your grandchild/ren. Nola can be contacted on 06 845 3141 oooOOOooo
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: 6 RELIEF Strategies for Stress By: Kay Fontana Are you a grandparent raising grandchildren? If you are, or know someone who fits this description, then you are aware of the stress associated with change and being a second-time-around parent. It is not the grandchildren who are causing the stress, because you know what a blessing it is to have them around.Stress comes from changes in your financial status, changes in the family structure and schedules, and the reason you needed to take in your grandchildren. Any time you experience sudden or drastic change in your life, you experience stress. Stress can cause some very common health-related problems including fatigue, insomnia, high blood pressure, cancer, stroke, heart attacks and other illnesses. Unless you take control and learn how to manage the stress, it may lead to chronic illness and sudden death if not managed properly. Your grandchildren need you, so it is important to take care of yourself. The 6 Steps of Stress RELIEF can help you gain control of what is causing you stress and help you lead a more peaceful life. RELAX Yes, I know. It is easier said than done. With a few quick strategies to do during the day, you will start feeling more relaxed. Start by writing down what is causing you stress; then, write down possible solutions. Sometimes writing it down can help inspire solutions. Keep a gratitude journal. Daily gratitude helps keep you focused on what is good: raising your grandchildren and having them close to you. When you focus on the positive things, more come your way. EAT RIGHT and EXERCISE The food that we eat has a profound affect on our attitude and well-being. Eating natural, whole foods will help you feel better, have more energy and reduce the stress that accompanies poor eating habits. Of course it is a well known fact that exercise is good for you. It helps reduce the stress hormones in your body that create health problems. Enjoy a nature walk with your grandchildren. Whether you go out in the back yard or go to the park, this will keep you all healthy and happy. Exercising your mind can also reduce stress. Books, puzzles, brain teasers and games are tools to keep your brain active, and can also be incorporated into activities with your grandchildren. LIVE, LOVE and LAUGH Enjoy the special moments with your grandchildren. Playing games, baking cookies, having a tea party or watch funny movies together will help build that special bond between you and your grandchildren while helping you relieve your stress. INNER PEACE Inner peace can be found through meditation, faith and spirituality. This is a more personal area of which you need to determine how to address this. It may involve prayer, going to church or having a few moments alone to meditate. ENVIRONMENT Additional family members living in your home can lead to clutter and limited space. Making room for your grandchildren so that they have a place to store their toys, clothes and personal possessions, can help you all feel more relaxed. If space is an issue, consider getting rid of things in your home that you do not need any longer. FAMILY and FRIENDS, or Other Support Systems Your grandchildren are true blessings. Building communications with them, involving them in conversations and sharing experiences, are excellent ways of building that bond between you and reducing stress. Other family members, whether inside or outside the home, or close friends, can be a source of comfort during stressful times. If stress becomes too overwhelming, or you do not have people close for a source of support, you may want to consider hiring a coach or seeking counseling before the stress becomes too great.To begin your stress relief journey, make a list of those strategies you are going to implement and put them into action. By doing so, you are inviting gratitude, balance and tranquility into your life. oooOOOooo
Why grandparents raising grandchildren are heroic by Denise Crooks As a child, the only mother I knew was my grandmother. It was not until I was ten years old that I knew exactly who was who - that my big sister was really my mother. Of course, that was a shock to me but as I grew older, learned more and became somewhat wiser, I realized the tremendous sacrifice that my grandmother had made. Not only did she have to provide for me but she was a single parent with another child who was still in school. Those days were completely different to now - then respect for elders meant - listen when you are being spoken to, address people politely, not being in 'big people's conversation', having respect, playing ring games, being happy with three pairs of shoes, doing chores, walking to school with no fear and the list goes on. The extended family played a major role. Despite the restrictions and limitations, I had a happy childhood because I was never short of love. Though she is no longer here with us, I do not think that a day passes without a thought of her surfacing - of her ability and creativity in making ends meet - as a seamstress, a hairdresser and planting vegetables and fruits. We even had our own 'organic' chickens to eat. Her love for people and desire to help them have left an indelible mark...she is my 'hero'. Now that I am a grandmother of two beautiful children, who, thankfully, I do not have the responsibility to raise, I still have the opportunity to be a part of their upbringing. I see my grandmother in me - loving them and sharing her passion for good manners and social skills. Then there is the joy of being 'me' with them - sharing conversations and my love for the beauty of the universe...telling them stories, dancing and just having fun. I would like to think of myself as a young grandmother but my body is telling me differently - the little aches are filtering in and I want my 8 hours sleep at night! For grandparents to raise children in today's world of technology must be a challenge, especially if the grandparents are not current with the changes. Times have changed - every topic is in on the internet - nothing is a secret! Basically, grandparents have to keep up with the changes if they do not want to lose track. There is even more of a dilemma in understanding if the grandparent are considered old. Children have so many extra curricular activities that physically would be demanding for any grandparent. Even method of teaching is different so overseeing homework of a young child is a challenge. Regardless of the age, if grandparents have to raise children then that sacrifice deserves a 'Lifetime Award'. Hopefully, the reward will be seen in the outcome of the children they raise. oooOOOooo
Why grandparents raising grandchildren are heroic: by Carol Gioia Article 2 on the above subject: When grandparents become the parental figures in their grandchildren’s lives, by taking over the responsibility of raising them, they could potentially be looked upon by others of their generation as heroes. Indeed, revisiting the responsibility of parenting, and all that it entails, when you thought you were finished with that phase of life is a task of heroic proportions. Raising children is hard work, usually accomplished in younger years when energy levels are higher. There might also be a stressful component to the story of why the grandparents are left in charge of raising their child’s children. There may have been a premature loss of life, or their child might have been deemed unfit, due to harmful addictive behaviors, or any other of a myriad number of unfortunate scenarios. Whatever the impetus for the unorthodox family arrangement, there are compelling reasons why grandparents raising grandchildren might be considered an act of heroism: * Age Many grandparents are well past middle age by the time their children have provided them with grandchildren. The challenge of keeping up with youngsters might be taxing to the older generation’s mental and physical health. * Finances If grandparents have already reached the age of retirement, finances could become an issue. They might be on a limited income and unable to provide all the things necessary for their grandchildren’s upbringing. Even if they have saved for their retirement, that nest egg would be depleted by the time the grandchildren are grown and independent. If the grandparents are on the younger side of the spectrum, they might still be working and expensive childcare could become an issue. Instead of putting money away for their own retirement, they are working to provide for their grandchildren’ s educations and futures. * Isolation Grandparents who are involved in the activities and affairs of their grandchildren do not have the opportunity to forge bonds and establish a social network with people of their own age. They might feel isolated and alone, in the continuous company of younger generations with whom they have nothing in common. * Generation gap issues There will be an undeniable generation gap issue between grandparents and teenage grandchildren. The grandparents brought their own children up in much simpler times. Technology has transformed life in ways that might be foreign to grandparents, and difficult to monitor. They potentially run the risk of inhibiting their grandchildren’s healthy growth and development by being too restrictive, or by being too lenient. While all of these disadvantages might sound discouraging, the fact remains that when grandchildren are in need, most grandparents will valiantly provide whatever they can, be it time, money or any other sacrifice. The loving bond between grandparents and their grandchildren is stronger, and more enduring, than any conventional wisdom might predict. Grandparents raising grandchildren is a trend that has been growing rapidly in recent years. The statistics are revealing of the plight of families besought by illness, addiction, unemployment, and abusive behaviors. The grand parenting role is ideally to provide unconditional love and unending emotional support to their beloved grandchildren. When circumstances dictate deeper, more comprehensive involvement in fulfilling parental care on a daily basis, when there is no one else available, those grandparents who heed the call are heroes for rescuing their grandchildren. oooOOOooo Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown
School Term Dates: 1. Primary and Intermediate Schools Term 1 2010 Between Tuesday 2 February and Friday 5 February to Thursday 1 April Term 2 2010 Monday 19 April to Friday 2 July Term 3 2010 Monday 19 July to Friday 24 September Term 4 2010 Monday 11 October to No later than Monday 20 December* * or a day in December which ensures that the school has been open for instruction for 388 half-days in 2010.
2. Secondary and Composite Schools Term 1 2010 Between Tuesday 2 February and Friday 5 February to Thursday 1 April Term 2 2010 Monday 19 April to Friday 2 July Term 3 2010 Monday 19 July to Friday 24 September Term 4 2010 Monday 11 October to Tuesday 14 December*
Parents Inc hot tip: Keeping your cool when it counts Whether its battles over homework, whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, or who gets to choose the movie, every family has their regular hotspots that threaten to set everyone at odds. It’s when these moments flare up that a Parent Coach can make a difference by using the following tips to defuse the tension: Breathe deeply and slowly Maintain your speaking volume and pitch at normal levels Keep the sparkle in your eye – set an example by trying to solve differences with good humour, respect, and a positive outlook.
Di National Convenor and the team. heoi ano, na
Posted: Wed 24 Feb 2010 |