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April 2009Greetings, Kia Ora koutou katoa hope this finds you all well.
On behalf of the GRG Board members we give very big thanks to the many donators who have donated money to us from $5 to $500 + we are very grateful, a lot of these donations have been anonymous and believe me when I say every bit counts. Times are tough out there folks and we are feeling the pinch also. These donations help us in producing and posting your newsletters, your handbook packs and brochures and the many other 101 things we do. God bless you all. We are also getting new members every day at present!
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren feature on this radio documentary, 17th May frequency 101.4 FM. We will notify you if this changes. A weekly current affairs programme, of national and international interest, Insight provides an in-depth analysis of a topical issue.
28-29 October 2009, Ellerslie Convention Centre, Auckland A Grandparent’s Love: For our children, for our future! In this update we have included information on: Conference Programme topics Pricing and Payment Options Registration Accommodation Options
To give you a little taste of what we are working on to include in our conference programme, we have listed some of the workshops, keynote presentations and breakout sessions topics. Throughout the programme there will also be Open Forums for further discussion of topics raised and other issues impacting on grandparents raising their grandchildren. Keynote Address from the Honourable Paula Bennett, Minister for Social Development &Youth Affairs
As you can see we have kept the costs to a minimum for our Grandparents members! An Early-bird discount applies for non-Grandparent delegates until 28 August 2009 and a Not For Profit discount applies for delegates from NFP organisations attending the conference. Non-Grandparent Delegates Early-bird Price Per Delegate Full Price
We encourage you to register for the conference early as numbers are limited! A minimum of $50 is required upon registration and full conference and gala dinner attendance fees paid in installments must be paid before 23 October 2009. Please fill in the registration form attached at the end of this newsletter and include your $50 registration cheque. For any queries phone BPS Executive Officer Jana on 09 419 0042 or email jana@bpsl.co.nz. Post Cheques to Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust PO Box 34892 Birkenhead, North Shore City 0746 Option to Pay Registration Costs by Installments For our members wishing to attend this Conference we appreciate how tight money is for you in your role of taking care of the grandchildren, but we do want you to be able to attend this event. Therefore we have set up a bank account for you to pay your full registrations costs by installments from now until 23 October 2009. Installments can be made either by cheque, automatic payment or internet banking (weekly or monthly) from now on to pay the full conference registration costs. The bank account number for this is National Bank, Birkenhead: 06 0115 0203334 01 (Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust NZ). Please note that this payment option applies only to the conference and gala fees. Arrangements for accommodation and payment of accommodation costs are to be made directly with the hotel concerned. Please see further information regarding accommodation options below. To take up this option, you must first please fill in the registration form attached at end of this newsletter and include your $50 registration cheque and post to our office at the above address. You will then need to arrange payment by automatic payment or internet banking to the above National Bank account to commence. Please ensure that in the Reference/Payer Code sections you include your name AND location. E.g. Joe Bloggs Wellington. ACCOMMODATION OPTIONS Unless you are able to look up old friends to stay with while in Auckland for the conference, the conference venue at the Ellerslie Convention Centre is walking distance to two ideally located hotels, the Novotel Auckland & Ibis Ellerslie. I am pleased to confirm that we can offer the following rooms and rates for your enquiry (tell them you are attending the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Conference for the special rate): Bookings must be made PRIOR to 25 September 2009. Novotel Auckland Ellerslie “ The Novotel Ellerslie is South Auckland’s premier corporate Hotel, recently refurbished your clients will enjoy contemporary, spacious accommodation with state of the art technology and comfort. Choose between our King or twin double Guest rooms or upgrade to our Superior rooms and Suites. Each room is complete with a variety of amenities including broadband internet, executive desk with ergonomic chair, flat screen LCD TV with connectivity panel for MP3 players and laptops, relaxing lounge, Ensuite bathroom, complimentary access to our hotel gymnasium and on-site parking.” Standard Novotel Guest Room (room only) $169.00. Ph 09 529 9092 www.ellerslie.co.nz Ibis Ellerslie “The Ibis Ellerslie is our three star economy brand offering exceptional comfort and value for money. All rooms are equipped with broadband internet access, television, SKY TV, ensuite with shower, small refrigerator and tea & coffee making facilities.” Standard Ibis Guest Room (room only) $129.00. Ph 09 529 9091 www.ellerslie.co.nz All guests enjoy complimentary parking and access to our hotel gymnasium. The hotel also offers an on-site laundry self-service. The above prices are quoted inclusive of GST (12.5%).
Welcome Pack from GRG: We have heard from a number of co-ordinators who have commented how fabulous and so efficient is the service that is done by GRG in getting out the handbook packs for new members. They say that most organisations do not even bother; they feel included and welcome when the pack arrives. Thanks to our volunteer Birgitt Rehbein, who does this nation-wide job for us.
Family has now sorted out their act and I have gone back to being a ‘normal’ grandmother. Your support and information has been such a help. Also thanks to Virginia our local Co for all she does.
Never owned a mobile phone but grand-dad does. Grand-daughter was away at camp and 78 year old grandma wanted to send her a ‘we love you’ text. Never done texting before nor had grand-dad, but after 20 minutes I did it and pressed the send button, who says old dogs can not learn new tricks! Hopefully I will get faster in time………..but then again J………… She gave me a ‘high five’ for doing it when she got home.
Do you think Rangiora New Life School will let this new 'pupil' attend school? It’s all because whenever the girls asked Grandad could they take their new American Girl dolls to school, he said "NO.... They cannot go, they don't have a uniform!" So Nana just had to do something about that!!. The culottes fabric is from an old pair that had a small tear, and as mending them was going to be a pain and show, I just had to use them somehow.....hehe.....OK..... so "us Nana's" have nothing better to do than work all night, be a wife, mother, and Nana all day and then make silly dolls clothes in-between the waking and sleeping hours...!! Heh .
Time to pack it away for winter, but before you do, encase the blades and safety cover in cling wrap or cover with a shopping large plastic bag, upside down. Come next summer and all you have to do is take off the cling film/bag encasing all the dust. This will save you that fiddly task of cleaning the dust off next summer.
1: Thanks for all your help and encouragement. For supporting me, pushing me, advising me and being a shoulder to lean on. See, you do make a difference. I would have chucked in the towel long ago if you and GRG hadn't been behind me. 2: I do wish to thank you most sincerely for all the information you have provided so quickly - so much appreciated. What a wonderful lot arrived in the mail today and I just know it will be so helpful. I just wish to thank you very much indeed. Wonderful.
We are so very proud of our Rebecca aged 11, her team came 2nd in the National marching championships. She marches for the Glennettes in Wellington.” Marching has taught her discipline and lifted her self esteem, we recommend marching for all young girls who have had a difficult time in life” said Grandma, Penelope Munn. Congratulations Rebecca!
How good to see grandparents on TV, well done to our lovely Judy and the other grand’s. I thought they were wonderful and take my hat off to them.
I went to Church on Sunday (Mothering Sunday) which was quite difficult for a Great Grand-parent raising a Great Grand-Child. All I could think about was our wee girl’s mother who has just given birth to yet another baby girl who she will abandon within two months! Where is the “Mothering” in this girl? In fact, I became quite weepy as they talked about what is generally expected of a mother. Then I reflected on all you other Grandparents out there in the same position as us. Mothers who think more of themselves than their children: Mothers who live on drugs and booze: Mothers who get into horrible relationships where the children experience violence: The list goes on and on! At least we Grandparents still have the “Mothering” instinct and can “Mother” these little ones as they are surely entitled to be loved!
Support Groups New GRG Support Group: Coromandel - GRG gathering at 1pm on Thursday 7th May at the St John Coromandel Ambulance Station, Tiki Road. Please contact Keitha Jenkins on 07 8668273, email dlj@xtra.co.nz
We have fielded phone calls about these. Where does one find them? Open Home Foundation, Barnados, Salvation Army to name a few. Phone your local CAB for more info for your area.
This subsidy is for the provision of Disability Support Services assistance for children with vision problems in low-income families. The five areas that can be accessed under the subsidy are Examination, Frames, Lenses, Eye patches and Repairs. The subsidy amount is $281.25 (including GST). A further $50.00 (including GST) is available for children that require an adult size frame. The Spectacles Subsidy is paid directly to the provider of the examination or glasses. The provider then deducts the subsidy amount from their client’s account. The spectacles can be provided by optometrists and dispensing opticians. The completed form is to be submitted to Enable New Zealand with an invoice attached. Applications may be submitted by post, fax or email. Enable New Zealand, PO Box 4547, Palmerston North
Don’t miss out on a Rates Rebates To be entitled to a rebate, a person needs to be on a low income and pay rates for the home they live in. The amount of rebate depends on a person's income, how high their rates are and how many dependants they have. The higher a person's rates, or the more dependants they have, the higher their income can be before the rebate is reduced. Most superannuitants and beneficiaries and many employed people on low incomes would be entitled to a rebate. New Zealand superannuation and most other Work and Income benefits are counted as income when assessing eligibility for a rates rebate. However, a number of benefits and allowances, such as the orphan's and unsupported child's benefit, disability allowance, child disability allowance, family tax credits and most war pensions (other than veteran's pension) do not count as income for rates rebate purposes. So, for example, a couple who receive New Zealand Superannuation, with no other income and two dependants would probably get the full $530 rebate if their rates were $1,782 or more. Ratepayers apply directly to their local council for a rebate for the current year. They must declare their income for the tax year preceding, the start of the rating year, e.g. for the rating year 2008/09, they will need to declare their income for the year ending 31 March 2008. They must also get the application signed by an authorised person such as a council staff member, Justice of the Peace, solicitor, chartered accountant or minister of religion. There are also some specific rules about properties that are owned by trusts that can affect a ratepayer's eligibility, and ratepayers should check these with their local council before applying. Last year councils approved around 111,000 rebates. However, this is fewer than half of the total number of people DIA has estimated are entitled to a rebate. To apply for a rebate for the current rating year applications must be lodged with your local council no later than 30 June 2009 For more information on the scheme visit www.ratesrebates.govt.nz To apply for a rebate contact your local city or district council
Application form at bottom of this newsletter: We strongly recommend these courses! Course Calendar May & June 2009
Afraid of the dark: 5 ways to help conquer their night fears: By Laura Davis and Janis Keyser Q: My two-year-old daughter has suddenly become afraid of the dark. There is a night light in her room, but she wakes up in the early morning, crying and covering her eyes. What can I do? A: Fears are a natural part of toddler-hood, although they can be unnerving for both toddlers and their parents. While new fears may look to you like regression, they are actually a sign of your daughter's new understandings. Young babies don't know that things exist even if they can't see them. In other words, they are not sophisticated enough to be afraid of the dark. Your daughter, on the other hand, has had enough experience to know that the dark covers up things that are still there, even though she can't see them. Your two year old also doesn't know enough about object constancy to understand that things don't just develop in the dark that weren't already there. She, therefore, can easily imagine that monsters or big dogs could be there in the dark, even though they weren't there when she turned off the light. Similarly, she may be seeing shadows and interpreting them as other, scary things. Her stuffed animal might take on a different look in the dark; a pile of toys might look frightening. This is all a normal part of your child's development. Here are some ideas to help your little one conquer night fears: 1. Listen. Encourage your daughter to talk about her fears. Sometimes we avoid talking about fears with our children because we think that it might make the fears worse. However, allowing children to explore their fears and to talk about them is often an important step in understanding and overcoming them. Even if talking about fears doesn't fully resolve them, it teaches children an important tool to use for dealing with challenging feelings. Your daughter may not be able to tell you all there is to know about her fear, but your willingness to listen teaches her that her fear isn't too scary to deal with. 2. Acknowledge her fears. Talk to your daughter. It is tricky to figure out what to say to our children about their fears. We are often tempted to make fun of their fears or to just discount them, because we know they are usually nothing to be afraid of. "Don't be a scaredy cat. There are no monsters in your room." Although it is important to let children know that we aren't afraid, and that we don't see any monsters, it is just as important to acknowledge that they are feeling afraid. "I know that you are feeling afraid of the dark." You can go on to offer your perspective: "But I know that there is nothing in the dark that can hurt you." You and your daughter could even do a walking tour of her room: "Here is your dresser, here is your tricycle, here are your blocks." It is important not to discount her or belittle her perspective, even though you can tell her that you have a different idea. She is in the process of learning to trust her own view of the world and it is important that her thinking is respected. 3. Provide support. Even though both you and your daughter are probably excited about some of her newfound independence at this age, it is important to offer her support during times when she is fearful. You may need to go to her at night when she is afraid, to stay with her for a while, to hold her, or to talk to her about her fears. 4. Allow her to "obsess." Amazingly, most children have an internal drive to overcome their fears. They may talk about their fears incessantly; they may ask questions over and over again; they may ask to hear the scary story again and again, they may incorporate the thing that scares them into their play. Sometimes parents become worried that their child seems obsessed with her fear. Most of the time this "obsession" is a child's natural urge to master their fear. Children may be focused on a particular fear for several weeks; sometimes a few months. If your child hasn't made any progress or evolution with her fear after a couple of months, you may want to seek professional help--either to work with your daughter directly, or to discuss with you some further strategies you could use. 5. Help her develop skills. As important as overcoming this particular fear, this experience provides an opportunity to help your daughter practice skills which will serve her a lifetime. You can teach her to research her fear, to explore it, to practice facing it, and to develop strategies to help her feel safe. Research involves things like getting information from other people, or looking around her room, herself, to see if there is anything scary. Practice facing the dark might involve a peek-a-boo game with a blanket where she moves from being in the dark to being in the light using her own control. Developing strategies so she can make herself feel safer might include using a flash light or a little lamp in her room. It could be keeping her bear close to her to help her feel safe. An important part of developing strategies includes inviting her input and ideas. Fears can make you feel vulnerable, but coming up with ideas to deal with them gives you back some of your lost power.
Helping an adolescent become a caring, independent and responsible adult is no small task. Follow these parenting tips for teens, from setting limits to enforcing consequences. Adolescence can be a confusing time of change for teens and parents alike. But while these years can be difficult, there's plenty you can do to nurture your teen and encourage responsible behaviour. Consider these parenting tips for teens. Show your love: One of the most important parenting tips for teens involves positive attention. Spend time with your teen to remind him or her that you care. Listen to your teen when he or she talks, and respect your teen's feelings. Also, keep in mind that only reprimanding your teen and never giving him or her any justified praise can prove demoralizing. For every time you discipline your teen, aim to compliment him or her twice. If your teen doesn't seem interested in bonding, keep trying. Regularly eating meals together may be a good way to stay connected to your teen. Better yet, invite your teen to prepare the meal with you. You also might encourage your teen to talk to other supportive adults, such as an uncle or older cousin, for guidance. Minimise pressure: Don't pressure your teen to be like you were or wish you had been at his or her age. Give your teen some leeway when it comes to clothing and hairstyles. It's natural for teens to rebel and express themselves in ways that differ from their parents. If your teen shows an interest in body art — such as tattoos and piercings — make sure he or she understands the health risks, such as skin infections, allergic reactions, and hepatitis B and C. Also talk about potential permanence or scarring. As you allow your teen some degree of self-expression, remember that you can still maintain high expectations for your teen and the kind of person he or she will become. Encourage cyber safety: Get to know the technology your teen is using and the Web sites he or she visits. If possible, keep the computer in a common area in your house. Remind your teen to practice these basic safety rules: Don't share personal information online Avoid ultimatums. Your teen may view an ultimatum as condescending and interpret it as a challenge. Prioritise rules: While it's important to consistently enforce your rules, you can occasionally make exceptions when it comes to matters such as homework habits, TV watching and bedtime. Prioritising rules will give you and your teen a chance to practice negotiating and compromising. Before negotiating with your teen, however, consider how far you're willing to bend. Don't negotiate when it comes to restrictions imposed for your teen's safety, such as substance abuse, sexual activity and reckless driving. Make sure your teen knows early on that you won't tolerate tobacco, alcohol or other drug use. Enforce consequences: Enforcing consequences can be tough — but your teen needs you to be his or her parent, not a pal. Being too lenient may send the message that you don't take your teen's behaviour seriously, while being too harsh can cause resentment. Consider these methods: Active ignoring. Tell your teen that you'll talk to him or her when the whining, sulking or yelling stops. Ignore your teen in the meantime. Set a positive example: Remember, teens learn how to behave by watching their parents. Your actions generally speak louder than your words. Set a positive example and your teen will likely follow your lead. And good luck! SOURCE: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/parenting-tips-for-teens/MY00481 ooooOoooo Parents Inc Tip: Does your teen want to go somewhere you don't want them to go? “Mum, Dad. There’s a party on Friday night… can I go?” When you have teens, you’ll miss those days when going to a party meant little red sausages and games, and the worst you had to worry about was a sugar overdose. Of course teenage parties can be GREAT… but they can be diabolical. If you’re not convinced it’s going to be a safe party you could strike directly by just saying, "No!" or, to help them "save face" with their friends you could initiate an alternative diversion. Offer an exciting alternative like the movies, shopping or going to a sporting event. You pay and they get to bring a friend. By creating the diversion, your teen will have a good excuse for not going to the party...maybe one they really didn't want to go to anyway.
When the clouds gather over us, Lord And we lose sight of you, Help us to believe that you are still there - always there. May we listen for your voice and may your Spirit radiate out into the dark areas of our lives. Give us the strength to move forward with courage and put our trust in you. AMEN.
National Convenor and the team. heoi ano, na
Ka kite
Posted: Thu 23 Apr 2009 |