SUBJECT:                                           National Office. NZ. Report - September 2004

Hitting rock Bottom Article:

Sadly this grandchild raged out of control again over two sessions equaling a 6 hour period, whilst the Child Youth & Family Services (CYF) tracker was in attendance. Police were called yet again and the tracker was obligated to contact CYF. The child was removed from the grandparent’s home and taken to a CYF Family Group Home (FGH). She had refused to take her medication and raged higher and higher. Eventually she did take her medication before being taken away. By the time she arrived at the FGH and the CATT team arrived she had calmed. The CATT team telephoned the grand’s late at night saying that the child wished to return home. These exhausted grand’s took the brave step and answered no. She stayed in the FGH for that night and many phone calls came to the grand’s home from CYF social workers the next day. It was decided she should remain another night. This child needs intensive therapy and needs to be kept safe from her own actions. But there is no where for her to go. The grandparents can not guarantee her safety and indeed worry about their own. The only option was to place her into this CYF FGH for a 28-day period under what is called a “Temporary Care Agreement”. Sadly this is not going to help the child, but it temporarily removes the heavy burden from the grandparents. They ask the question…where to next? A plan has been set in place for bi-weekly respite care covering the next 6 months.

The GRG Trust has written a letter about this awful situation and to push for the opening of the Child Unit at Starship hospital where this child can get what is needed for her and also for others that need this service.

And from another grandparent:

Having only just had the time to read the July article, I am appalled at the treatment the Grandparents had to go through, but not really surprised.

On the death of our daughter just over 2 years ago, leaving a daughter of then 4years and son of 16 days, my husband & I have been raising them. We don't have the best of health ourselves, but "puddle" through.

My husband, granddaughter, and grandson have some form of Epilepsy, all on medication, and we have received wonderful support by the Epilepsy Society.

When our daughter and Granddaughter first arrived from the North Island, she was saying how the granddaughter had a few obsessions, and couldn't understand why. We never really had time to talk more about it before she died, and with the death of my Mother soon afterwards, have had a lot to deal with since. It was only a few weeks ago when I took our granddaughter to see a Specialist about her epilepsy, that he noticed something else wrong with her, but didn't say what. I remembered a conversation I had with two cousins whom I only met for the first time at my Mum's funeral asking me if our granddaughter had any medical problems. I told them about the Epilepsy, but they asked me about a condition I had never heard of. Before I could ask them anything else, someone else came up to speak to me, and the moment was gone. I rang my cousin to ask what he had said, and was told they thought she might have Aspergers, based on what they had seen. It was only a few days later that I found out what this condition is, it's a form of Autism, and everything fell into place with what we have had to go through. When I took her back for test results, I asked the two junior doctors if this could be part of what is happening to our granddaughter, especially as the EEG test was negative. I told them what we have to live with, and that we are also at rock bottom trying to cope with everything ourselves. Their reply was that until the head doctor had seen her, and talked to her teacher, there was nothing they could do for me and to go home and cope until December when she has her next appointment. I have emailed the Autism Society asking them if they could help us now, or if we have to wait until it's confirmed, and as to date have not had any reply.

When we returned from the hospital and I told my husband what they had said, he told me they should come and live with us for a month to see what we have to deal with.  Our son said his Dad was too generous time-wise - they should only need to be here for an hour.

My heart goes out to anyone, Grandparent or not, that has to cope with something like we have to, and having to wait until the doctors want to do something in their time frame, leaving people like the Grandparents and ourselves to cope the best we can.

Thank you for the wonderful newsletter, it's great to know that we aren't on our own, as sometimes all of us can feel that we are the only ones going through something like this. My heart felt thanks to these Grandparents for coping with this, and having to battle every inch of the way, NO-ONE should have to do that.  

Great Reading, thanks Nana Cath:

Here is a fantastic book that I have just finished reading.  I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who has anything to do with autistic people. It is written by a woman with Aspergers who was undiagnosed until her 20's.  This book has to be the only one so far that I have read with a clear insight into the working mind of a person with Aspergers. It is available from Libraries.

TITLE:             A real person (life on the outside)                             

BY:                              Gunilla Gerland

TRANSLATED:          By Joan Tate

PUBLISHER:   Souvenir Press 1997, 43 Great Russell St, London WC.B3PA

Telephone calls to Trust Office:

Over the last 6 month period the Trust office has fielded 1414 phone calls. Not to mention the hundreds and hundreds of emails and snail mail. WOW! Our membership continues to grow but also we have some dropping off due to the fact that the grandchildren have now left the nest either back to Mum or Dad but also in many cases on to independence.

Reminder about UCB (Unsupported Child Benefit)

It is up to you to notify WINZ when your grandchild’s age changes, as this will affect the amount you should be getting. When your one turns 5 – 10 – 14 you need to phone on the 0800 559 009 and notify your case worker that there needs to be an adjustment to the UCB payment. It does pay to have their community services card handy to quote the number or your case number.

Passports: and our Grandchildren.

Should you need to apply for a passport for your grandchildren and you have custody and guardianship, you will have to put with the application the original court papers that grant you custody and guardianship before Internal Affairs will issue this passport. If the child/ren are under CYF you have to get their permission to apply for a passport and they, no doubt, will have what is necessary for this to happen. For some reason if the children have the same surname as you there does not appear to be any problems and passports are issued.

Motivational Trip to Sydney:

Our GRG Trust office was approached by the ICAN Trust with an offer for eight grandchildren to receive a sponsored trip to Anthony Robbins seminar in September from the Auckland region. The call went out to our wider Auckland co-ordinators for nominations. We were also asked to get a chaperone for the girl’s team. The girl’s team consists of four teenagers – two from the North Shore GRG support group and two from the Helensville GRG support group. The boy’s team consists of two from the North Shore GRG support group and two from the West Auckland GRG support group. ICAN Trust sponsored the airfares and seminar fees. GRG Trust picked up their accommodation. We had another teenager apply from West Auckland and one from Orewa, but both of these boys felt it was out of their comfort zone upon reading the information. We are very thankful for this opportunity for these teenagers and we sincerely hope it will give them a new perspective on life. Safe travels, young people.

One of our Grand’s kindly has offered to chaperone the girls team and ICAN Trust arranged a chaperone for the boy’s team. This is a four-day course at Darling Harbour. All of those going are met at the Trust Office along with their grandparents and the ICAN Trust for a briefing on what was to be expected from them and indeed the course, they also met the chaperones. The young people have an obligation to give feedback both to the ICAN Trust and also the GRG Trust board members after their return. And I must say I am very impressed to hear from the grandparents that these young people are out working jobs for their spending money. Well done!

Relevant Press Releases:

Family Court Judge Says More Emphasis to Be Given to Children
NewsRoom.co.nz Agency Story by Zar Lilley at 12:25, 30-08-2004

The Principal Family Court Judge says more emphasis should be placed on the rights and wishes of children in family court proceedings.

Addressing a seminar in Wellington on Family Court issues, Judge Peter Boshier said judges traditionally shy away from interviewing children in chambers to find out what they think about things such as custody.

Children's wishes are usually conveyed through psychologist reports.

But Judge Boshier says there are some strong articulate children who want to express their own views, and they should be given the ability to address judges directly if they want to.

I personally have very mixed feelings about this: In cases of child abuse and neglect no matter how bad, these children still wish to stay with their parents and it may not be in their best interests. Fear and saying or doing what is expected from these types of parents is very powerful in an abused or neglected child.

Dr Louise Newman, Psychiatrist: from New South Wales.

I was privileged to attend her seminar on “Childhood Trauma” The Developmental Implications of Child Abuse and Neglect. As did some G/P’s who attended when she went to Wellington.

She explained the long-term effects for abused/neglected children, which had me nodding my head a lot of the time, as was most of the audience. It was a fascinating, but nevertheless frightening, look at the long-term damage done by neglect and abuse. This seminar confirmed to me yet again that just because our grand’s have now taken in the children and they are safe, this is just the beginning. Those of us who have had the children for a number of years may now be realizing just how bad this damage can be.

She suggested intervention: the need to re-engage these children in the social world: to get behaviour regulated: and strengthening of relations with the primary caregiver. If children are abused in their pre-verbal years a sound, fabric texture or image can trigger a memory and sometimes children will re-enact those events. I just wish these types of seminars were available for all caregivers of abused/neglected children, but unfortunately they come with a cost which places it out of the reach of so many caregivers. Perhaps this is something CYF should be looking at in the “Caregiver Courses”.

Knowledge somehow lightens the load and explains a lot of the acting out in our ones. Also, giving strategies on how to cope with this very serious problem is needed.

Recommended reading:

·               Attachment Theory Child Management and Family Support.

·               Why Love matters: How Affection Shapes a Babies Brain.

·               Brainy Babies: Build and develop your babies Intelligence.

·               Rethinking the Brain: New Insights into Early Development.

GRG Trust Cultural Advisor

Our GRG Trust Board of Trustee’s announce the appointment of a South Auckland Cultural Advisor. We welcome Susan Baker. Susan can be contacted on 268 0798 or email baker@zoom.net.nz

Susan has been trained by our recently retired Miriama Paraone-Davies. We are currently seeking another Cultural Advisor to enable the Trust to expand this service.

Grey Power Speech in Tauranga:

Di and Grandma Deborah travelled from Auckland down to Tauranga where they met up with Co-ordinators from Whakatane, Tauranga and Hamilton plus a number of grand’s from these support groups. We have no doubts that Grey Power in Tauranga are now firmly behind GRG.

Auckland & Wellington Regional Co-ordinators: Summer Camps.

In conjunction with our funding administrator Jenny Kirk, Samina and Jenny have worked on applications to enable 100 GRG children to be funded to attend a summer camp just after Christmas. This will be shared amongst the 7 wider Auckland support groups, for children aged 8 – 13 years. These applications have been done under the “Grandparents raising Grandchildren Charitable Trust” head office; thus far we have been successful for 37 children and await the other application responses. Terry, Wellington Regional Co-ordinator has done similar applications to enable a few grandchildren to attend a camp for her area. This is a double-edged sword as it not only gives the children a wonderful holiday but also the exhausted grand’s a break.

Co-ordinator Training:

The GRG Trust has put in an application for funding to bring all of our Co-ordinators to Auckland for a training day in March of next year. Jill Worrell will run this training day if we are successful with our application. This will better equip the Co’s to help all GRG’s and Kincarers with their unique problems and role in raising the grandchildren/whanau.

GRG Internal Research:

This rich data has now been placed upon a spreadsheet and is now in the capable hands of our GRG researchers. Jill & Kate report that this is very exciting stuff - and will be ground breaking. It is requiring of some cross-referencing and hopefully should be ready for release before the end of the year.

Areas Chosen For Family Safety Team Pilot
Press Release by New Zealand Government at  02:39, 31-08-2004

A pilot programme aimed at reducing domestic violence will see Family Safety Teams established in Wairarapa/Hutt Valley, Auckland/Hamilton, Christchurch, and Counties Manukau, Justice Minister Phil Goff said today.

The Wairarapa/Hutt Valley and Auckland/Hamilton teams will begin operating next February, with the other teams being rolled out in the 2005/2006 and 2006/2007 financial years.

"This initiative addresses concerns raised by those working in the family violence area, and by reports into the deaths of James Whakaruru and Saliel Aplin and Olympia Jetson, that the current response to violence is fragmented and uncoordinated," Mr Goff said.

"Frequently, agencies that are working with one family member are not aware of information held by another agency in relation to the same family that may be of direct relevance. For example, child protection agencies often assess risk to a particular child without knowing that there has been a history of family violence and considerable prior Police involvement with the child's family.

"Family Safety Teams are a pilot programme aimed at providing a multi-disciplinary response to family violence.

"It is a joint initiative between the Police, Ministry of Justice and Department of Child, Youth and Family. It will involve police, and advocates for adult and child victims working together to ensure that the full range of needs for a family experiencing family violence are addressed.

"In each case, a team will decide how to best address the problem, protect the victims, and reduce the chance of repeat incidents.

"The teams will also ensure that greater use is made of existing services that can help at-risk families, such as protection orders, counselling and help from Work and Income.

"The teams will continue to make referrals where appropriate to the police and Child, Youth and Family, and to work closely with child abuse and sexual abuse teams.

"The key outcomes for Family safety Teams will be to:

·       Put in place a system where agencies co-ordinate, communicate and collaborate more effectively;

·       Provide families experiencing violence with more comprehensive and integrated interventions;

·       Develop national best practice.

"While family violence reports may initially increase with greater awareness of effective services, the initiative is expected to reduce family violence.

"The new services will focus on high-risk situations and put in place preventive measures."

Mr Goff said the four sites had been chosen by a steering committee comprising representatives of relevant government agencies and the non-government agencies Women's Refuge, Stopping Violence Services, Child Abuse Prevention Services, and Northern Regional Advisory Group.  The committee had considered where the teams would have the best chance of making an impact, either because of high levels of family violence, or because they could build on existing collaborative practices, such as those already established in Hamilton, Auckland city, and the Hutt Valley.

Funding of $15.2 million over four years was made available in this year's Budget, and the teams' work will be evaluated over a three-year period. ENDS

Viral Spots on our wee charges:

There is a virus going around at present that leaves the children with a runny nose and high temperatures. It also manifests spots over the children. We are all super vigilant in regard to Meningitis so if in doubt take the child to the Doctor. Apparently if you get a normal clear drinking glass and press the side firmly over the spots and they disappear it is unlikely that they have Meningitis.

Working for Families starts in October 2004.

On 4 October the rates for Childcare and OSCAR (Out of School Care & Recreation) subsidies will increase significantly, making childcare more affordable for parents. (caregivers).

Income limits are also being raised from Oct 4 2004 meaning families not previously entitled to a childcare or OSCAR subsidy may now qualify:

·        If you have one child and your weekly family income before tax is less than $770 your hourly subsidy will be $2.84.

·        Two children and income less than $950 subsidy is $2.84. Three or more children weekly income less than $1110 it is still $2.84.

If you are in work or study, or you have special circumstances that mean you need access to childcare, YOU CAN GET

·        A Childcare subsidy for up to 50 hours a week.

·        An OSCAR subsidy for up to 20 hours a week during term time, and up to 50 hours a week during the school holidays. For more information free phone 0800 559 009 or visit www.workandincome.govt.nz

What are grandparents? According to 8 year olds:

·        Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own, they like other peoples.

·        A Grandfather is a man Grandmother.

·        They are so old; they shouldn't play hard, or run.

·        It is good if they drive us to the shop and have lots of money for us.

·        When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

·        Usually Grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes, they wear glasses and funny underwear….goodness do we?

·        They do not mind reading the same book over and over again and they do not miss pages.

·        They can take out their teeth and gums.

·        Grandparents don't have to be smart. They have to answer questions like “Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?"

·        Everybody should try to have a Grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

·        They know we should have snack-time before bedtime, and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

The best for last:

·        A 6 year old was asked where his Grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "She lives at the airport and when we want her we just go to the airport to get her then when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

Out of the mouths of babes, it's true that "Kids say the darndest things."!!!!!!

 Di

Convenor and the team. return to top