Greetings and Kia Ora you amazing people:

Membership: 2918

GRG Support groups total 38.

Apologies:

UCB payment quoted in last newsletter for a 5-9 year old was wrong it should have been $111.88 not $118.88.

This newsletter:

Thank you all who have made such positive comments about our newsletter. This is also extremely helpful in our applications for funding of this newsletter print costs & postage.

* Thank you for another informative newsletter - it is such a valuable resource.

* It is just for ME.

* Stories and articles I can really relate to.

* I know I am not alone in this role.

* Thank you for such a wonderful newsletter.

* It is always welcome and regular, super.

* So informative and I have learnt so much.

* I pick up on the little laughs which are sometimes quickly read over and then picked up on.

* I so look forward to getting this each month, thank you so much.

Anyone looking for their local disability information number they can dial 0800 69 33 42 this should connect you through to your local office.

Disability Allowance: On our web site discussion board:

‘What is it about WINZ and being so arrogant? We have a badly damaged grand-child we are raising, we get the UCB, but when it came to renew her disabled child and/or handicapped child allowance which we do annually - she is 5! WINZ decided that we have to be 'means' tested - my husband is on the Super. I am working, and they said NO !! I got a review asking why, and its because I am working and we could not provide my husbands income as he does work at his own business(practice)- we have to get an Accountants statement (GST returns and IRD not allowed as not enough!!) stating ALL our incomes and outgoings - how ridiculous!!’

If any of our members are finding this would you please let us know and what area you are from and the WINZ office concerned. You also should write to the Disabilities Minister Ruth Dyson at freepost Parliament Buildings. Wellington giving as much information, as possible. Or contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) 0800 367 222 and ask for the name and contact number of your local Benefits Advocate.

From The WINZ Web site:

Child Disability Allowance
This allowance is a fortnightly non-means-tested payment of $37.28 (weekly rate, non-taxable) that can be made to the parent or guardian of a seriously disabled child who lives at home and requires constant care and attention. This allowance may also be available when the child lives in a home or hostel and the child's parent or guardian is required to contribute to the costs of maintaining them.

Hon Minister Maharey replies: 16/5/05

Minister Maharey writes and states, “As you can see there is presently no asset test required for this benefit (UCB) and I would repeat there is no intention at this present time to introduce an asset testing provision.”

Our Web site:

In the near future our web site will be undergoing a revamp and upgrade, colours will also be changing. Please bear with us whilst this happens. It will be very user friendly.

Te Reo Translation of our Handbook:

This publication in Maori is now back from the printers, should you require a copy (for our members these are free of charge) just post to us a large AE 90 cent stamped, self addressed envelope folded inside a smaller envelope. Please write on outside of envelope “Te Reo” so I know this is what you want and not the English version. For agencies and others, same envelope, but a $20 cost please.

Auckland Region: Loan items:

We have stock of the following items which can go out on loan to GRG’s/Kin. Highchair- Pushchair- Umbrella stroller- Portable cot- door barrier- Car seat- contact Trust office if you wish to borrow these.

We also have some hand knitted cot blankets, first in first served.

S.P.E.L.L. Training - Autism Spectrum Disorder

A maximum of 30 people will be permitted to attend each course. There is NO charge to parents, family/whanau and volunteers to attend this course. There is a charge of $220.00 per person for professionals working with people who have an autism spectrum disorder. Please note that parents, family /whanau and volunteers have priority for places on the course and those professionals who register are offered places on a first in first serve basis.

Course Content

This course had been developed to replace and update current training in Autism theory and practice, and, to provide up to date knowledge and information on Autism Spectrum Disorders.

Topics covered will be:
History of ideals and implications for intervention
Range of gender basis of condition
Overview of causes
Diagnostic issues - associated conditions
Definitions and classifications
Prevalence
Characteristics of Autism
Understanding Autism at a cognitive level
Understanding difficulties of individuals with Autism and their families
Responding to Autism - an overview of approaches
Understanding quality of life issues
Implications for teaching and learning
Framework for understanding and responding to Autistic Spectrum Disorders
SPELL - An overview and introduction

Upcoming Course Details for 2005:

Auckland
Date: 7th & 8th June 2005
Venue: Waipuna Hotel
Closing Date: 31st May 2005

Napier
Date: 9th & 10th August 2005
Venue: War Memorial Centre
Closing Date: 2nd August 2005

Christchurch
Date: 23rd & 24th August 2005
Venue: The Chateau in the Park
Closing Date: 16th August 2005

Wellington
Date: 24th & 25th August 2005
Venue: Portland Hotel
Closing Date: 17th August 2005

Rotorua
Date: 6th & 7th September 2005
Venue: Wylie Court Motor Lodge
Closing Date: 30th August 2005

Hamilton
Venue: Anglesea Motel
Closing Date: 6th September 2005
Closing Date: 13th September 2005

Date: 13th & 14th September 2005
Venue: Anglesea Motel
Closing Date: 6th September 2005

Invercargill
Date: 20th & 21st September 2005
Venue: Ascot Park Hotel
Closing Date: 13th September 2005

The courses will run from approximately 9.00am till 3.00pm. Morning Tea and Lunch will be provided. A registration form needs to be completed and returned to Autism NZ National Office. Please email us your postal address to receive one if you have not already.

Venues are subject to change, please check your confirmation letter once registered very carefully.

Please email us at info@autismnz.org.nz or call us on 0800 AUTISM (0800 288 476) for more information.

Normality:

We had met the grandparents before but had not met the two grandchildren they raise, (they are 5 & 7 years and beautiful girls). My nearly 14 year old grand-daughter came along with me. The girls all played happily at the local playground. Within 5 minutes of playing together the 3 all came over to us. The older 7 year old said to my grand-daughter, “I don’t have a Dad”, and grand-daughter responded so naturally, “I don’t either”. The younger one then chimed in “I don’t see my Mum very much”. Again, she easily replied, “I don’t either”. Both the young girls then said we live with our Grandma and Grandpa. My Grand-daughter said “so do I”. I was extremely proud of the ease in which she normalized and related her situation to what these very young girls were saying. From that moment on they were all the best of friends. I think a little hero worship was happening. It made me smile in my heart.

Meanest mother in the World: 30 years ago.

I have the meanest mother in the world. While other kids had lollies for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, eggs and toast. While other kids had cans of drink and ice-creams for lunch I had to have a sandwich. As you can guess my dinner was different from other kids too. As well as the food, we had to eat at the table and not in front of the television. My grand mother also insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang or something. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going and she even told us what time we had to come home! I'm ashamed to have to admit it but mother even had the nerve to break child labour laws. She made us work! We had to wash the dishes and make our beds and even learn to cook. That woman must have stayed up all night just thinking up things for all us kids to do. She always insisted we tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers our whole lives had become even more unbearable. No hooting car horns for the girls in our family to come running. She embarrassed us by insisting the boys come to the door to collect them. I forgot to mention that most of our friends were allowed to date at the mature age of twelve or thirteen. Our old-fashioned mother refused to let us date before at least fifteen. She really raised a bunch of squares! None of us kids were ever arrested for shoplifting or busted for drugs and who do you have to thank for this? You're right, our mean mother. I'm trying to raise our children to stand a little straighter and a littler taller and secretly I'm thrilled to pieces when my children call me MEAN. I thank God for giving me the very meanest mother in the whole world. After all, every day we get cries from both people and politicians as to what we really need in this country. Well, what our country really needs is more mean grand mothers like mine. Anonymous.

These mean mothers are now the Grandmothers of today!

Littlies Magazine..free

‘Littlies is a free monthly parenting magazine available through registered early childhood centres, Pumpkin Patch stores and Amcal Pharmacies nationwide. Littlies also offers grandparents a FREE Parenting Club so you can keep up-to-date with the wider parenting world. If you join Littlies Parenting Club by 10 July, you could win a Dora the Explorer Scooter set for your grandchild. Visit Littlies homepage at www.littlies.co.nz to register. All Parenting Club members as at 10 July 2005 will go into the draw to win one of 10 Dora packs, each worth $110, including the latest Dora Scooter, cycle helmet, knee and elbow pads, insulated lunch bag, drink bottle and bike bell.’

MEDIA and PARLIAMENT STUFF:

Budget 2005: New Legal Aid Criteria Extends Eligibility But Also Requirements To Repay

Press Release by New Zealand Government at 1:50 PM, 10 May 2005

Legal aid eligibility income thresholds, which have not been changed since 1969, will be amended under a Legal Services Amendment Bill introduced to Parliament today.

"This legislation will restore to a wider range of lower income New Zealanders the ability to afford legal representation for civil, family and criminal matters," Justice Minister Phil Goff said today.

"It is based on the principle that access to justice ought not to depend on the ability to pay.

"The changes will increase the number of New Zealanders who are potentially eligible for legal aid to 1.2 million, up from the current 765,000. The number of legal aid grants made is expected to increase to 85,000, up by 25,000.

"Income thresholds for civil cases will be based on gross income and adjusted according to family size. A family of two adults and one child, for example, would meet the criteria on earnings up to $36,371. The current equivalent level is $19,060. Income thresholds will also be inflation-indexed in future.

"The new criteria are based on eligibility criteria for the current community services card. They will be fairer to lower income working families who are currently disadvantaged in relation to those dependent on benefits. Under current criteria, benefits are not considered as income.

"The additional cost of the new level of grants, when it comes into effect in 2006/2007, will be around $14 million in its first year, and around $21 million a year subsequently. This will be provided for in this year's Budget estimates.

"With the major public investment in legal aid to ensure access to justice, it is equally important that proper safeguards are built into the system to ensure that spending is justified.

"New merits tests are introduced, for example, to ensure that in family court matters regard is given to whether there has been previous proceedings in the matter, to see whether the applicant has been excessively litigious.

"There must be reasonable grounds for taking or defending proceedings, with special regard for vulnerable persons such as victims of domestic violence, or children.

"For criminal legal aid, a new test will be introduced that places emphasis on likelihood of imprisonment, the complexity of proceedings, whether proceedings involve a substantial question of law, and whether the individual is able to understand them without assistance.

"To extend eligibility for aid to a wider section of the population and to ensure that recipients are more mindful of the cost of proceedings, a new repayment and debt management regime will also be introduced.

"Under the new legislation, a higher proportion of recipients will be required to repay some or all or their grant. Those in this category will increase from 8000 currently to 22,000, with the value of repayments rising from $10.8 million to $24.6 million per year.

"This will encourage those seeking legal aid who can afford to part-fund or repay their costs to weigh the benefits of proceeding with their case in the same way as people who have to meet their own legal costs in full.

"Criminal and civil legal aid recipients will now be treated the same for repayment purposes, which will result in more criminal legal aid recipients contributing to their legal costs.

"Costs will be able to be awarded against legal aid recipients, in particular where there has been deceit, misleading behaviour, or misconduct in the proceedings causing the other party to incur unnecessary costs.

"Overall, the new system will be fairer, both in ensuring access to justice does not depend on an ability to pay, as well as ensuring that people seeking public assistance genuinely need it and will contribute to the cost," Mr Goff said.

ENDS

Question time in Parliament 10 May 2005:

JUDY TURNER (Deputy Leader—United Future) to the Minister for Social Development and Employment: Is he satisfied that grandparents who provide care for their grandchildren receive adequate financial support; if so, why?

Hon STEVE MAHAREY (Minister for Social Development and Employment): In most cases, yes. Grandparents and other extended family caregivers may be entitled to either a foster care allowance, an unsupported child's benefit, an orphans benefit, or family support. In some cases they might also receive a family tax credit. I do acknowledge that some grandparents in receipt of New Zealand superannuation have concerns about the adequacy of financial support when they are raising a grandchild. I have therefore asked officials to consider what might be done in the future to provide more support for them, and I am certainly happy to consult with United Future when I receive that advice.

Judy Turner: Why, when the unsupported child's benefit and child disability allowance are not meant to be means tested, have there been several cases of Work and Income staff in Rotorua and Christchurch requiring grandparents who provide full-time care for their grandchildren to state the source and amount of their income in order to receive that support?

Hon STEVE MAHAREY: I am not aware of those particular cases, but, of course, if the member gives me the details of them, I will follow them up.

Georgina Beyer: What has the Government done recently to give more money to those providing valuable care to children who are not their own?

Hon STEVE MAHAREY: Apart from a very excellent dancing programme, we have provided from 1 April this year, as part of the Working for Families package, an $15 per week increase in the rates of the unsupported child's benefit and the orphans benefit. Those benefits provide a contribution to everyday living costs of children in long-term care, and are paid to people who are providing care to children who are not their own because the parents themselves are unable to do so.

Judy Turner: Does the Minister think it is acceptable, when the Government's own policy is to place children who cannot be cared for by their parents with relatives if at all possible, that a recent survey indicated a disturbingly high proportion of grandparents in that situation who have found themselves impoverished and in ill health; if not, what changes does he propose in order to ensure that the Government's stated priority and the level of support it actually provides to those grandparents match up?

Hon STEVE MAHAREY: I do think it is sad to see what appears to be now a trend of family members, particularly grandparents, looking after children. We are now trying to find out whether indeed it is a trend and, if it is, whether we have to make extra provision for that particular group. In the immediate term we have ensured that we work closely with grandparents raising grandchildren through their organisations. Those organisations work with the Department of Child, Youth and Family Services and Work and Income to ensure that their members get their full entitlements. As I said, we are also now looking at whether we should be doing more.

Judy Turner: Does the Minister agree that caregivers should not be penalised in terms of financial support available to them by virtue of being related to the child; if so, when will he take action to ensure that the disparities between the total support received by Department of Child, Youth and Family Services foster carers and those grandparents who are providing exactly the same service and care are eliminated?

Hon STEVE MAHAREY: As the member knows, these are complex issues. Firstly, many people care for a member of their extended family without ever coming anywhere near the State to look for support, and it is the case that people support that very much as being the way they should act. Secondly, we are in a situation whereby we need to assess exactly what the needs of people who are looking after children in those situations are. That is what we are trying to do and, as I have said, I will share that information with the member.

Media Release 10 May 2005

Turner: WINZ illegally means-tests struggling grandparents

Christchurch and Rotorua WINZ offices are illegally means-testing grandparents raising their grandchildren when applying for benefits, United Future deputy leader Judy Turner revealed in Parliament today.

She challenged Social Welfare Minister Steve Maharey as to why grandparents were being required to deliver income information when applying for the unsupported child benefit and the child disability allowance, neither of which are means-tested.

“These grandparents have it hard enough as it is, without bureaucracy which has no legal basis, making it even harder for them,” Mrs Turner said.

“These grandparents are often coming to the rescue in incredibly difficult family situations at a time in their lives when they have done their child-rearing.

“They have enough on their plate putting the pieces together for often traumatised youngsters, and keeping themselves going with often limited and fixed income, without being victimised for no legal purpose by WINZ,” she said later.

Mrs Turner called on the Government to guarantee that it was not going to start means-testing either the unsupported child benefit or the child disability allowance.

“They keep saying they understand the lot of grandparents raising grandkids. It’s high time their actions matched their rhetoric.”

Ends.

We would like to suggest here that perhaps an internal letter needs to go to ALL Work & Income Offices thru the country need a reminder stating that the UCB & Orphans Benefits are not asset tested.

Court settlement clears way for foster care payments to relatives: USA.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 By Barbara White Stack, Pittsburgh

Post-Gazette

As a result of a federal lawsuit settled yesterday, child welfare officials across the state are looking for grandparents, aunts, uncles and others caring for kin placed there by caseworkers.

For some, the lawsuit settlement means they will be able to get foster care payments to help support the abused or neglected youngsters.

"This settlement has been a long time in coming, but it hopefully will fix the problem of discrimination against kinship caregivers from this point forward," said Witold Walczak, legal director for the Greater Pittsburgh chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union.

The ACLU and the Juvenile Law Center of Philadelphia filed suit five years ago on behalf of 12 relatives caring for children placed in their homes by child welfare agencies.

The relatives complained that the agencies refused to give them foster care payments because the children were kin. When agencies place abused or neglected children with strangers, the caregivers get foster payments to cover room and board costs.

State and federal law forbids financial discrimination against relative caretakers, but the ACLU said that it occurred across Pennsylvania anyway.

The state Department of Public Welfare agreed to settle the suit without acknowledging any wrongdoing, but it will make back payments to the plaintiffs.

We're pleased the case has been amicably resolved consistent with department policy," welfare department spokeswoman Stacey Ward said.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05074/471596.stm

Bringing Up the Birds and Bees

How to answer your young whanau child's questions about sex and the body

Young children are notorious for asking questions that make parents squirm, especially when it comes to sexuality. From "Nanny/Aunty, where's your penis?" to "Did Mrs. Richards poop out her new baby?” difficult questions often come much earlier than you might have anticipated -- and sometimes at inopportune times. It's useful to remind yourself that when your child asks about sex, he is simply trying to make sense of his world.

Discussing the biological facts of sex with him when he is young will help begin the process of open discussions about sexuality -- and other tough issues -- as your child ages. The editors of Scholastic's Parent & Child interviewed Steven C. Atkins, Psy.D., a clinical associate at Dartmouth Medical School's department of child psychiatry and the co-author of Talking to Your Kids About Sex From Toddlers to Preteens, who says that answering questions matter-of-factly and honestly is the best policy: "We want children to understand the whole body and all of its amazing features."

Dr. Atkins's best advice: Maintain a sense of humour!

Q: At what age is it appropriate to start talking about gender differences and sexuality?
Dr. Atkins: Each child is different, but you can expect to hear questions very early on, when children are naturally curious about everything. By helping children to be aware of all of their body parts at a very early age, say 3, and by having them know words like penis and vagina, you're helping them become more comfortable with themselves. As they get older, sex will be easier to talk about.

Q: What kind of language should I use when explaining body parts to my little one?
Dr. Atkins: Use the proper names for all body parts: penis, vagina, anus, vulva, and so on. Otherwise, children will use the wrong ones, which can interfere with their understanding of body parts and function. Not to mention, some people find slang words to be offensive. If they do start using words that are inappropriate -- words they hear on the playground, for example -- stop them and say, "We consider that word bad manners and we don't use it in our home."

Q: My child is asking personal questions about private parts in public. What should I do?
Dr. Atkins: If your child asks, "Nanny/Aunty, can I see your vagina?" in the middle of the grocery store, it's just because kids say whatever pops into their heads. I suggest that you don't respond with anger or shame; the important thing is to confirm the factually correct information and give her skills for understanding situations. Try this response: "You're right, girls do have vaginas and boys have penises."

Then, start setting boundaries. Tell your child that there are places for this kind of conversation: in private. Ask your child, "Where do we talk about our bodies? At home and at the doctor's office. And when do we talk about them? In private: Who do we talk about them with? With family: And so on.

Q: My 3-year-old son is sometimes in the bathroom when I get out of the shower and has started asking questions about my body. Is it okay to be nude in front of him?
Dr. Atkins: Listen to your internal voice. Do what makes you comfortable. If you do feel comfortable, use it as a learning opportunity and simply answer his questions honestly and directly. If you feel uncomfortable being nude in front of your child, use a book to show him different body parts. A good parent recognizes her own limitations.

Q: How should I handle the "Where do babies come from?" question?
Dr. Atkins: With this, and most of the questions kids ask in this realm, you need to do some active listening, which means finding out why your child is curious about this concept. You can ask gentle questions to help tease out what your child really wants to know. We always think the child wants to know the mechanics or the graphic details involved in conception, but he might want to know something basic, such as which hospital he was born in. Answering, "Babies come from their moms" might tell them all they need to know.

Let your child's questions be your guide. Give too much information to a 5 year old, for example, and you will see her eyes glaze over. Then again, when we told my 4-year-old cousin, Hunter, that my pregnant sister had a baby in her belly, he thought she ate a baby. If your child seems confused, it's a good time to talk about how the baby got there. That is where you start to talk about sex.

Just make sure your child always knows you are glad he asked you and that you welcome his questions. Hopefully, he will do the same thing as he gets older.

Q: What should I do if my child goes to school and shares information from our family discussions about sexuality with other kids who have not yet had this conversation?
Dr. Atkins: When you start having these discussions with your child, tell him that you are sharing this information with him, but that it shouldn't be shared with his friends because this is something for each child to talk about with his own family. He may do it anyway, but it's important to convey that these conversations should stay at home.

Q: My 5-year-old daughter is very affectionate and loves to kiss. At school, she always tries to kiss another little boy, who gets upset about it. How should the teacher and I handle this situation?
Dr. Atkins: This is a good question because it is important that parents and teachers work together on these issues. Children are naturally affectionate and will inevitably want to kiss and snuggle. But you need to tell your child that not everyone wants to be kissed or touched and that she needs to respect the little boy's feelings, just as she wants others to respect hers.

It's also a good time to discuss boundaries for appropriate and inappropriate touching. You and the teacher should make sure the children know what to do if someone tries to touch them in a way they don't like. They should say, "No!" and go tell the teacher. Be sure to give your child permission to come to you with complaints.

Caregiver Course Dates for June 05:

UPPER SOUTH
2 & 9 & 16
June
Evening & Day
Nelson
SC

UPPER SOUTH
17 & 18
June

Blenheim
CI

LOWER SOUTH
4 & 5
June

Invercargill
CI

LOWER SOUTH
13 & 14
June

Ash/Timaru
NV

LOWER SOUTH
27 & 28
June

Christchurch
CI

NORTHLAND
11 & 12
June

Whangarei
LI

AUCKLAND
10 & 11
June

Waitakere
NV

AUCKLAND
24 & 25
June

Auckland South
OC

BOP/NP
7 & 8
June

Hamilton
FD

BOP/NP
11 & 18
June

Paeroa
CI

BOP/NP
21 & 22
June
Fri 9-3 Sat 9-4
Whakatane
OC

EAST/WEST
17 & 18
June
9.00 am - 4.00 pm
Palmerston North
UM

EAST/WEST
27 & 28
June
9.00 am - 4.00 pm
Palmerston North
CI

EAST/WEST
15 & 16
June

Wanganui
OC

Wellington Area
23 & 24
June

Porirua
SC

BOP/NP
25 Jun & 2 July
June/July

Te Awamutu
CI

For bookings, please contact the Caregiver Training Coordinator directly, by phone (04) 913 2168, fax (04) 914 4473, or contact the Training Coordinator direct on 0800 227 305 (0800 CARE 'O'K), and ask to be referred to Maxine Carroll

Di

National Convenor and the team.

E te Atua, aroha mai..... O God shower us with love.

Ka kite

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