Carer Data base: 3440
We are doing well, GRG that is:
A Civic Award for Community Services was awarded to our North Shore
Co-ordinator Bonnie Williams on 27th July 2007 by the Mayor George
Wood. Congratulations and well deserved Bonnie. Bonnie tirelessly
works for GRG and also for children with special needs.
Two letters have been sent to us in praise of their local GRG co-ordinators.
So to Shirley Faulkner (Whakatane) and Virginia Peebles (South Auckland)
congratulations!
Rotary Birkenhead have awarded Diane Vivian volunteer of the year
and a donation was made to the GRG Trust on 13th June 2007.
North Shore City Council Mayor George Wood has awarded Grandparents
Raising Grandchildren™ Trust a Mayoral Award 2007 for Community
Awards in excellence on 25th June 2007. A donation was made to the
GRG Trust.
Napier GRG Support group:
This group has reactivated and will be Co-ordinated by Nola Adams
06 845 3141. Thank you Nola.
Reccomended Reading:
Ian Grant: Parenting Inc.
Growing Great Boys: How to Succeed as a Single parent: Single Parenting
that Works: Strong Willed Child or Dreamer: Boundaries with your
Teens: A Chickens Guide to Talking Turkey with your Child.
Warwick Pudney: A Volcano in my Tummy.
Sally Houtman: To Grandma’s House we Stay. (available free
from us) see end of newsletter.
The 2006 Census results are
updating our picture of older people in New Zealand
There are now over half-a-million people aged 65+ but Statistics
New Zealand tells us that they’re still the poorest group
of adults in our society.
For people aged 70 to 74 the median income for the year was
just $14,800.
Older people had the least increase in their incomes between
2001 and 2006.
New Zealanders' median personal income went up about one-third
but most older people's income only increased around 15 percent
through a time when power bills, rates, and health costs all increased
by much more than that.
So where does this leave Grandparents who are having to raise their
grandchildren? return to top
KiwiSaver and Grandparents
Much has been written about Kiwisaver over the past few months.
ABN AMRO Craigs, one of the KiwiSaver Scheme providers, and one
of New Zealand’s leading investment firms has given us the
following insight into KiwiSaver and how it applies to grandparents
and grandchildren.
KiwiSaver is open to employees, self-employed and non-workers but
you have to be under 65 to join and access the incentives. Employees
who join are required to contribute 4% or 8% of their gross pay.
Self employed and non-workers have no fixed contribution rates.
The cash incentives to join are a $1,000 one off kick-start, an
annual subsidy of $40 to contribute to your scheme fees and a tax
credit of up to $1,042.86 p.a. There are other incentives for first
time buyers of own homes and employees with mortgages have a concession
to divert some of their minimum contribution to pay off their mortgage.
This means that they can effectively contribute at a reduced rate,
but not for the first 12 months.
Here is an example of how grandparents can use KiwiSaver for their
own savings and help their grandchildren too.
Example: Gareth & Bronwen, 3 Grandchildren
Gareth and Bronwen are 62 and 59. Their grandchildren Bryn and Megan
are 15 and Gwyneth is 6. Gareth is employed and Bronwen combines
some self-employed part-time work with looking after Bryn, Megan
and Gwyneth.
Gareth and Bronwen want to boost their own retirement savings and
are attracted by the incentives. They also want to start saving
for their grandchildren. Bryn & Megan will start work at 18
and are keen to get their foot on the property ladder. They wonder
whether KiwiSaver can help them. Their priority for Gwyneth is education.
As an employee, KiwiSaver rules say that Gareth can choose to save
either 4% or 8% of his gross earnings. He believes he can afford
to save 4% and knows that from April 2008 his employer must start
matching his contributions, 1% in 2008 increasing each year to 4%
in 2011. He is eligible to join as he is under 65, but as he is
over 60 he must stay in Kiwisaver for 5 years.
By saving 4% of his gross earnings Gareth will receive the $1,000
one off kick start, the fee subsidy and the full tax credit of $1,042.86
for each of the five years he is in the scheme. He thinks this is
a great return for his money even before the performance of his
investments. His employer can organize his deductions and he contacts
a KiwiSaver scheme provider to open a KiwiSaver account.
As a self employed person, Bronwen notes that under the rules by
saving as little as $1,042.86 a year ($20 per week), she can get
all the government incentives although she will have to stay in
kiwiSaver till she is 65. She thinks that is a great return, and
she won’t have to wait too long to access the money. Bronwen
needs to send payments initially (until October) via the IRD and
contacts a scheme provider to open a KiwiSaver account.
Under KiwiSaver rules none of the children qualify for the tax credit
until they are 18. They do however qualify for the $1,000 kick-start
and the fee subsidy. Importantly in Bryn and Megan’s case,
if they join now, and when working at 18 contribute 4% of their
incomes , by the time they are 20, they will have been Scheme members
for five years and they may qualify for the full first time home-buyer
subsidy of $5,000 each. They’ll also be able to withdraw their
grandparent’s contributions, their own and their employer’s
contributions (plus investment returns).
Gareth and Bronwen think this is really important to help their
grandchildren get a foot on the property ladder and see this as
a great way of getting them extra help. They know that the children
will be locked in to Kiwisaver but see the advantage of saving long
term for retirement. They’ll talk this through with the children
now to make sure they are clear about this.
In the case of Gwyneth however, she has some time to go before this
benefit becomes relevant. In her case they start saving into a regular
saving scheme that isn’t locked in, in the knowledge that
they won’t get access to the $1,000 kick-start and subsidy.
They’ll review this in a few years or should any future Government
change the incentives.
The government website www.kiwisaver.govt.nz has heaps of information
on joining Kiwisaver and www.sorted.org.nz has a comparison of scheme
providers. ABN AMRO Craigs is a registered KiwiSaver Scheme provider
with 16 offices nationwide.
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Benefits and incentives
To get your savings off to a good start, the Government will kick-start
your KiwiSaver account with a tax-free contribution of $1,000. Each
year the Government will pay into your account a member tax credit
(if you're 18 or over) and a fee subsidy. You may also be eligible
for help with your mortgage.
Question:
We are both 58 years of age not working but living off our investment
interest, therefore does this mean if we enrol we can withdraw all
our savings plus the Government contribution at 65 (only 7 years
to wait) Say we did the cash deposits yearly of $1040 does this
mean our return back would be $14.560 less fee’s?
Answer:
If you both contributed $1,040 each year for seven years then at
current incentive levels you'd each have
($)
Contributions 7,280
Kick Start 1,000
Tax Credits 7,280
15,560 plus investment returns and annual subsidies at $40, less
costs.
Question:
What is a tax credit, is it a credit for your tax or actual cash?
Answer:
It is cash. Tax credit is a misnomer. It is a grant made by the
Inland Revenue to each KiwiSaver member. It is claimed on your behalf
by your Scheme provider at the end of the first year (after 30th
June 2008). We have to confirm a member's eligibility and the number
of weeks the member has been in the scheme and contributing. We
credit your KiwiSaver scheme.
As far as we can see this is one time where it pays to be older,
we can double our money over a short period of time! www.kiwisaver.govt.nz
*** Smile at strangers and see how many smile back, give yourself
a natural high ***
Will you marry me?
My Grandson aged 4 told me the other day that he loved me so much
and when he gets big he will marry me. I replied, “well by
that time I will be really old and have lots of wrinkles”
His reply, “I will just buy you a beautiful mask then! Jen
Jen, if this was my 4 year old grandson one could guarantee it would
be a Spiderman mask ?
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Mapihi Pounamu – Financial Support Scheme
Summary: Key information regarding Mapihi Pounamu Financial Support
Scheme.
Last update: 23 April 2007.
Aim:
To help ensure that at-risk secondary school-aged students, aged
14 and above, participate and achieve in education. It is targeted
at those students who face barriers to learning through difficult
home circumstances, lack of adequate supportive care, or circumstances
that may pose a risk to their well being and compromise their ability
to engage in education. Students who are required to board away
from home because they face such barriers to learning may be eligible.
Applications for assistance are made by parents/caregivers with
a referral by any of the following social or educational agencies:
• Child Youth and Family Service;
• New Zealand Police Youth Aid;
• Group Special Education (a division of the Ministry of Education);
• Social service providers.
All applications for assistance will be subject to the Ministry
of Education being satisfied that students meet the criteria.
Key Facts & Information:
Assistance will be granted only in cases where the applicant meets
the eligibility criteria outlined above. This scheme is not intended
to assist applicants who could attend their local secondary school,
but who choose to attend a different school.
The maximum entitlement per applicant is $7,500 per year. Where
the applicant is also in receipt of a Government Boarding Bursary,
this is deducted from the grant.
The scheme covers only hostel boarding fees at a state or a state-integrated
secondary school.
Assistance will begin from the term in which the application is
approved. Any outstanding costs will need to be met by the parent
or caregiver.
Applications must be on the official form, www.minedu.govt.nz then
type in, mapihi pounamu in search or by contacting the Ministry
of Education.
We have been reliably informed that some grandparents who are struggling
to raise their grandchildren may be able to access this service.
This service is open for ALL NZ citizens.
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Four Tips for Teaching Your
Child Respect by Dr. Charles Sophy
One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect.
Teaching a child to be respectful is not as difficult as it may
seem. The best way to teach respect is to show respect. But first,
we must understand what it means to show respect.
Respect is an attitude. It is a response to others that may be
verbal and non-verbal. Respect is the attitude of admiration or
esteem – to hold in esteem or consider well-regarded –
towards others, oneself and one's possessions. A respectful child
takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful
child gets along with peers, parents and figures of authority.
Respect, unlike mathematics or grammar, is an abstract concept.
There is no step-by-step model to apply to teach a child respect.
Just as the best way to teach a child how to love is to show love,
the best way to teach respect is to show respect. Children model
the behaviour of the adults in their lives. Keep in mind the saying
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like
and begin to understand how important it is. Start early - start
to teach your children as soon as they may begin to understand what
you say to them. It is always much more difficult to show and teach
respect to a teenager who has not really been held accountable.
While your child is learning respectful behaviour patterns, it
is essential to modify inappropriate behaviour. If your child does
something that is not respectful, take time to point out, in quiet
and non-threatening ways, that their behaviours towards others or
you are not respectful. Always begin that dialogue in a safe manner
for them and build upon their strengths. Be sure to offer them alternate
ways in which the situation may have been better handled.
Let's take a peak:
Four-year old Chloe is on school field trip to the aquarium. Her
mother is one of the parent chaperones for the trip. The field trip
has Chloe's mother feeling a bit uneasy due to Chloe's outbursts
in most situations. Mom fears that Chloe will have a tantrum in
front of her teachers and demonstrate how little control she has
over Chloe.
The trip proceeds smoothly until Chloe discovers the gift shop.
She eyes up a huge blue dolphin that she states will need to come
to sleep with her tonight.
Chloe's mother proceeds to explain to Chloe that the dolphin is
quite expensive and she will need to pick out something less expensive.
At that point Chloe begins to call her mother names such as stupid,
and dumb. Chloe's mother is often uncomfortable to confront her
daughter when she is showing disrespect towards others. Not knowing
what to do, and being caught between embarrassment in front of teachers
and her feelings toward her daughter, she takes Chloe by the hand
and leads her to the lobby.
The response to Chloe's behaviour is crucial in successfully modifying
inappropriate behaviour.
The scene can be played out in one of two ways:
Accepting inappropriate behaviour: If mom is not aware of the ways
to deal with disrespectful behaviour, Chloe will most likely be
spoken to in a harsh manner:
Threatening her future freedom ("If you don't stop right
now, you will never go on another field trip
again) or bargaining in an attempt to stop the incident ("If
you stop calling me stupid, I'll buy you the dolphin"). Neither
response will teach Chloe the respect that she will need as she
encounters similar situations in her life. If the parent responds
in a manner that shows the child that their behaviour is acceptable,
the child will not modify their behaviour and will continue to
act inappropriately.
Modifying inappropriate behaviour:
If mom is comfortable confronting her daughter and has handled
these types of behaviours in the past with Chloe, she will quietly
lead Chloe out to the lobby and sit her down in a safe space.
She will review the trip and tell her what behaviours Chloe demonstrated
today that were exemplary and then discuss the behaviours that
were less then acceptable. Chloe's mother will then discuss ways
in which Chloe could handle her feelings in a more positive manner.
The discussion ends with a gentle reminder that respect must be
a part of how they treat each other and that Chloe will have the
opportunity to have a new toy or treat upon her next positive
behavioural display. No threats, no bargains… just an honest
discussion about how the child behaved appropriately and which
actions were not appropriate.
Respect requires:
1-Early Introduction:
Introduce the concept of respect early (as soon as the child is
able to understand when being spoken
to) by identifying positive and negative behavioural patterns.
2- Model:
Show your children how to respect by interacting respectfully with
your spouse and with others.
3- Awareness:
Talk with your child at those times when they demonstrate behaviour
that is less then respectful.
Showing them in the moment is most beneficial.
4- Build On Strengths:
In discussions with your child, begin by building on the strengths
that they have shown, the positive behaviours in which they have
engaged, and how to improve the undesired behaviours. Always ask
for assistance when unsure of how to proceed.
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the
Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS),
which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly
40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice
in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively
and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University
of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures
and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those
in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch"
blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems.
He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact
Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com
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What is it about grandparents, that is so lovely? I'd like to say
that grandparents are God's gifts to children and if they can but
see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature
at a faster rate. ~Bill Cosby
Happy Birthday to you: Party
Food
Party food is a fun & necessary part of any birthday party.
Quick and easy party food ideas for all situations.
Children’s birthday parties are a great excuse for children
to have access (albeit limited!) to a variety of special treats
that may not normally figure in their day-to-day lives. Birthday
parties are all about fun and games and spending time with their
friends and, of course, opening presents. Apart from the deserved
focus on the actual birthday cake, the party food is simply part
of the event and shouldn’t require you to spend hours in the
kitchen or huge amounts of money at the supermarket.
If you and your child have decided upon a theme, this may influence
some of the items you choose to have (i.e. fairy cakes if you’re
having a fairy party), otherwise it’s best to make things
as simple as you can. You want to be with your child and their friends,
or even better, enjoying a coffee or wine with your friends while
you watch your children having fun - rather than stuck in the kitchen
for most of the party.
Once the children have eaten their fill, they’ll be rushing
off for more playing or games – chances are they’d pretty
much eat just about anything placed in front of them if hungry enough,
so there’s no sense knocking yourself out to create a gourmet
spread that goes unappreciated.
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Party food ideas
Savoury Party Food Sweet Party Food Healthy Party Food
• Cheese’n’bacon pastry wands
• Chippies, burger rings, cheezels
• Pizza
• Sausage rolls
• Piggies in blankets (sausages in bread)
• Shape sammies (use cookie cutter)
• Mini pizzas (shapes too)
• Mini quiches
• Mini Mince Pies
• Honey chicken nibbles
• Chicken nuggets
• Spring rolls
• Fish flips
• French fries
• Tacos (they choose fillings)
• Crunchy chicken balls +dipping sauce
• Mini hamburgers • Birthday cake
• Grissini sticks dipped in Nutella + 100s’n’1000s
• Biscuits (animals, iced, choc)
• Fairy bread
• Fairy cakes
• Shortbread shapes baked on stick, sprinkled w. sugar + colouring
• Cotton candy
• Toffee apples
• Lollie cake
• Coconut ice
• Homemade fudge
• Lemonade w. a lollipop in it
• Spottyshakes (milkshake w. marshmallow bits)
• Spiders (ice cream +lemonade)
• Ice cream cones
• Banana splits
• Lamingtons
• Meringues
• Brandy snaps
• Lollie balls • Fruit platter
• Pineapple’n’cheese on toothpicks
• Veggie platter
• Fruit kebabs
• Mezze (pita bread+dips)
• Grissini sticks+guacamole
• Mousetraps (vegemite’n’cheese oven baked bread)
• Hairy heads (half potato decorated w. prunes)
• Samosas
• Homemade mini hamburgers
• Tacos
• Mini quiches
• Chicken nibbles
• Mini pizzas
• Shape sammies
Providing a choice of healthy and ‘naughty’ foods means
children are in charge of their own appetites and you’ll be
surprised how the fruit actually does get eaten.
Like anything, having a balance between the two is the best way
to go. Likewise, with hot and cold snacks; you can get away with
one or two hot items – you don’t need a gourmet smorgasbord
as the food is only a small part of the party.
Also, you’re not supposed to be slaving over a hot oven -
this is meant to be fun for you as well.
You might like to find some ideas in one of the many cook books
dedicated to children’s birthday cakes and party food; including
themed party food (the Australian Women’s Weekly books are
particularly good at this).
Variety and choices: sweet or healthy? Hot or cold?
Unless you’re serving a hot meal for older children (and even
then, pizzas and sausages in bread are always a good stand-by),
the easiest way for guests to feed themselves is by using their
hands. Finger food is excellent, especially for younger children,
and bite-sized food is always popular.
Baking or Buying Party Food?
This decision comes down to time and money. Have you got the time
to make party food or can you buy some or most of it?
Using some snack foods is convenient for you and they can double
as a special birthday party treat (for example, mini chocolate bars,
such as Crunchy or Picnic Bars). It’s an easy option to buy
a bulk packet and ensure each child has one. Don’t forget
traditional kiwi items such as cheerio sausages that are very easy
to boil and serve, with lashings of tomato sauce. And what about
party food you can make quickly yourself? Like fairy bread (100’s
and 1,000’s scattered on white buttered bread and cut into
shapes) or rice bubble crunchies. Time to get out the Edmond’s
Recipe book!
It can be a good idea to have a mix of both – food you can
open from a packet and put straight into a bowl, onto a plate or
into an oven and food that you can prepare the night before or pull
together on the morning of the party without too much fuss.
As long as it’s not too fancy and tastes good, the children
won’t really care what there is to eat – the food is
only a small part of their party experience.
Fussy Eaters and Allergies
As long as you provide a reasonable selection of sweet and savoury
items and a good mix of healthy food and special treats, then the
fussy eater will have ample choice. If they get hungry enough, they’ll
find something they can handle and no-one ever starved from not
eating for up to three hours!
Depending upon their age, children with allergies should either
be supervised by their parents or be old enough to know what they
can and can’t have. Hopefully you know the guests well enough
that you’re aware of any allergies before the party. If not,
as a precaution, you can ask the “allergy question”
on the invitations.
Children with allergies can also bring their own food, to be eaten
at the same time as everyone else. It is vital they are comfortable
about this and not be teased or made to feel awkward. If the child
with allergies is the birthday boy or girl or is a close friend
of the birthday child, it can be a nice idea to make something special
that they can eat and share with their friends; such as a dairy-free
chocolate cake, for example.
Children who are anaphylactic will have their medical kits with
them at all times, but if you’re not sure about something
or can’t find the ingredients list to see if it’s okay
for them to eat, then check with the parents or ask the child to
choose something else instead. This is definitely one of those times
when it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Party Drinks
Whether you’re serving fizzy drinks or juice, milk or water,
you need to take the age of your guests into account. Younger children
are best with easy-to-hold plastic cups, whilst straws can be a
better idea for children a little older (as it’s fun and there’s
less spillage). There’s a huge variety of colourful plastic
cups, glasses and mugs available that can make the drinking experience
even more special. Disposable cups can be a worthwhile idea –
just make sure they’re relatively strong and won’t crumple
under the pressure of tightly gripping, damp little hands. Older
children can usually be entrusted with glass and china.
Where will they be eating the Party Food?
Decide if you’re going to bring the food out halfway through
the party, towards the end, or have it available the entire time.
You can opt for a specially pre-prepared and decorated table or
you can lay everything out on the bench, buffet-style. Another option
is to prepare each plate yourself, and ensure every child has the
same thing – whatever makes your life easier! Unless it’s
the middle of summer and you’re planning on eating outside,
it pays to have a back-up eating plan in case it rains or turns
cold. [A word of warning - if it’s summer, watch out for chocolate
biscuits and chocolate cake melting in the sun!]
Do the adults need to be fed?
Given the amount of work that can go into preparing a party, there
would be few adults who would expect the hosting parents to provide
a full scale morning or afternoon tea especially for them. Adults
attending children's parties can share some of the food and are
most welcome to a slice of the birthday cake, along with a nice
cup of coffee, but to cater separately for them, while a commendable
idea, can be fraught with extra pressure you don’t need. However,
you may wish to include coffee, wine or beer to help keep your adult
guests happy as well!
After it’s all over
Whether your party has been a morning, lunch or afternoon affair,
then chances are both you and your child, not to mention the rest
of your family, will be a little tired. This is one of those days
when a quick, easy meal is called for, so make it leftovers, takeaways
or a frozen meal, kick back and relax – it’s all over
till next year!
Article Party Food Published September 2007 www.kiwifamilies.co.nz
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You do not really understand something unless you can explain it
to your grandmother. ~ Proverb
2 year olds. Don't you just
love 'em? Especially, when they are rolling around the floor, having
a good old tantrum.
By Noel Swanson
I often get asked if the GOOD CHILD Guide works for 2 year olds,
even though it is primarily aimed at 5 - 12. The answer is YES,
but it does need a little bit of adapting. The principles certainly
apply. And with a bit of imagination you can apply those principles
to children as young as 18 months, and as old as 98. What changes,
with the age, is the tactics you use to apply to principles.
So, to keep you going, here are some thoughts about 2 year-olds:
First of all, don't be fooled by them! Just because they are little,
just because they don't talk well, and haven't been around too long,
doesn't meant they don't know exactly how to manipulate you to get
what they want!
Just like anyone else, whatever the age, they will do their best
to get the things that they want. And if throwing a temper tantrum
or whining, or any other such behaviour works to get you to see
things their way, then of course they will do it!
So, how to deal with them? Just the same as you would with an older
child, and just as I describe in my book:
A. you need to be clear about what behaviours you will accept or
not accept. Don't take on a battle if it really isn't important.
B. Be clear about your instructions - say what you mean, and mean
what you say. Say it once and don't repeat yourself.
C. Once you have done that, then follow it up with action,
D. Yes, you can use time out with little ones: but instead of sending
them to their room, how about using a "manners chair"?
Here is how it works:
Get a small child's chair and put it in a corner somewhere - facing
into the room.
If they fail to do as they are told (after you have said what you
mean and meant what you said - 123 Magic works well for that) then
you send them to the chair with words to the effect of: "Oh
dear, you seem to have lost your good manners again. You had better
go and sit in the chair until you find them again."
Once they have found their manners - as evidenced by compliance
or better behaviour or them telling you so, then they can come off
the chair. In the meantime you ignore them. Especially, if they
are fussing or whining.
In order to keep this light rather than as a heavy punishment, you
can offer to help them to find their manners again. Suggest to them
that they may have dropped them under the chair, or in their pockets,
or perhaps they even fell in their shoes. This helps to turn them
away from whining to a more positive attitude (and turns you from
shouting to being helpful). Usually the manners are found pretty
quickly.
Once they have found their manners, you can then tell them to do
what they were originally supposed to do, or perhaps they need to
apologize (e.g. to their sister for thumping her!).
Unlike with normal time-out (where it is a clear connection with
bad behaviour=miss out on fun by being in time out), with the manners
chair you CAN ask them to apologize, or otherwise revisit the incident,
since the evidence of them having found their manners is a return
of compliant polite behaviour. If they still refuse, then they clearly
didn't find their manners, so they need to go back to the manners
chair and have another look.
There is a danger that this in itself can become too much of a game
for them since they get a lot of attention from you when you are
helping them to find their manners. You will need to strike the
right balance between "time-out" i.e. ignoring them, and
a bit of assistance (since they are young and this is all new to
them).
What is important is that you don't get into yelling mode, and they
don't get away with inappropriate behaviour. Keep it calm, keep
it positive, keep showing that you still love them, but that the
behaviour is the problem - i.e. the child is not the problem, the
problem is simply that she has lost her manners temporarily - once
she has found them again, then all will be well again.
Now, what about when you are out in public? The key there, as everywhere
else, is that you have to mean what you say, say what you mean,
and follow up with action. So, how do you time out in public?
Three options:
1. Sit them down in the aisle and do a kind of "manners chair"
in which no one is going anywhere else until he has found his manners.
2. Take them out and do a time out in the car. They are in the car,
you are outside, looking AWAY from them. You stand there and you
wait patiently until they are quiet. Do NOT respond or get into
a "discussion" with them until the tie-out is up.
3. Abandon the shopping trip and go home and do the time out there.
You will only have to do this a few times before they get the message
that you mean business in public just as you do at home. While doing
all of this, remember to stay calm and in control. Getting into
a lather about it all will just make things worse rather than better.
As I said, this is all based on the foundational principles in my
book, so if you are having difficulty in getting your children (age
2 or up) to do as they are told - or if you find yourself getting
into a state yelling and repeating yourself countless times - then
it really is time to get the book and put it into practice! Here
is the link - you can get started today: http://www.good-child-guide.com/index1.php
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To Grandma’s House we… Stay: Free for Kinship Carers.
J R McKenzie Trust have kindly sponsored the purchase of this book
and we have 600 copies available FREE of charge to send to you.
Written by Sally Houtman: Who possesses degrees in English, Psychology,
and Rehabilitation Counseling. This is a practical and hands on
approach with many different strategies, very useful when one finds
oneself raising grandchildren or kin children who have been psychologically
damaged. We need to think outside the square and Sally has given
us the tools to do so in this book. If you would like a copy of
this book posted to you please either email or write with your name
and address plus new postal code to us. We ask that when you have
finished this please pass on to another carer or your local Library.
If you are a counseling service/mental health service, or come across
grandparent caregivers we are happy to supply you a copy. Some comments
from you:
• I have not been able to put this book down.
• This has made me change the way I deal with my ones.
• Thank you so much for this book, I wish I had it years ago.
• Easy understandable reading and most worthwhile.
• It works! Tried the strategies out…………YES!
• Fascinating reading. Thank you!
This is your newsletter: Your stories are very welcome, if you
have something you would like discussed, do drop us a line or email.
Di
National Convenor and the team.
E te Atua, aroha mai..... O God shower us with love
Ka kite
* Please feel free to send this report on to others whom you think
may be interested
* Please pass this on to other grandparents/kin carers you know
of.
* Views expressed in this newsletter may not be the views of the
GRG Trust.
* GRG Trust Head Office hours are 9am-3pm daily. (We raise grandchildren
too)
* We are totally a voluntary organisation.
* All donations to the GRG Trust are tax deductible.
Abbreviations:
• GRG – Grandparents Raising Grandchildren ™
• H/O – Head Office
• H/B – Handbook
• BOT – Board of Trustees
• CYF – Child Youth & Family Services • Co’s
– Co-ordinator/s
• UCB – Unsupported Child Benefit.
• WINZ – Work & Income NZ now DWI – Department
of Work & Income
• Grands – Grandparents
• G/c – grandchild/ren
Web: www.grg.org.nz
or www.kin.org.nz
or www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz
Email office@grg.org.nz
Free Phone 0800 GRANDS or 0800 472637 (not for use for Auckland
callers)
Tel: 09 4806530 Fax: 09 4806572 Postal Add: PO Box 34 892 Birkenhead.
Auckland 0626
If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter please contact
the Trust Office as this is where the total mail out membership
is kept. Moved home or planning to? Be sure to let us know.
Te Tautoko i nga Mätua Tupuna, me nga Mokopuna.
Te Ao mai rano, aianei, a muri ake nei.
Supporting: Grandparents and grandchildren.
Our past: present and future.
