Kia Ora and greetings you wonderful people:

Wider Auckland region GRG BBQ:

The ASB Trust very kindly donated to the GRG Trust money to hold this special event for the GRG’s in Auckland. All members (GRG) names from wider Auckland were put into a ballot to attend this special function. This meant there were invites for 166 people. The day dawned beautiful and people from East, South, North & West converged on the local primary school. The children delighted in the swimming pool as did some grands’. A face painter and a beautiful fairy entertained the children. The food cooked by Spit Roast Company was delicious. The Trust had been donated a number of goodies, which all grand’s were given a lucky ticket. This saw 11 lucky ticket holders get some wonderful things. The highlight was the appearance of “Bebop & Lula” (2 clowns) who arrived in their little clown car with bubbles streaming from the roof. They entertained the children, and I might add the grand’s, with a fabulous show. This was a first for Auckland and we shall be hopefully holding this yearly. Next year will be bigger and with a little more shade cover supplied (summer has arrived). Thank you so much ASB Trust.

Summer Camps for GRG Children in wider Auckland area:

59 Children attended YMCA camps this January, kindly sponsored by 6 Trusts. The weather cleared and the children had a marvelous experience. They have learned new skills and more importantly have met with heaps of other children who are being raised by their grandparents. All returned happy and safe with nothing but praise for how much they enjoyed the camps. All want to go again next year.

These children were from North, South, East & West of Auckland and were put forward by the GRG group Co-ordinators of these groups. The GRG children all wrote letter of thanks to the donating Trusts.

In saying this, if you wish to do this in your region National Co-ordinators, all you have to do is source a funder in your area let us know all their details and the Trust will apply on your behalf. You will have to source a local camp and let us have those details also.

Wellington GRG children’s Christmas Funding.

A very big thank you to: ‘Think Tank Trust’.

- 17 children had 10 trip movie passes
- 12 children had 10 swim passes

- 3 children had $20 vouchers for I-Play (internet games etc)
- 6 children had $10 vouchers for Time-Zone Amusements

- 20 children went to a 5 day camp
- 2 children went on 5 day school holiday programme

- 3 Grandparents attended a Compass Conference for Abused Children.

I am Celebrating: I have just covered my last school book!

For 19 years I have been covering school books and today I have just finished covering my grand-daughters last intermediate school book. Yippee! 19 years ago we used brown paper then wallpaper, wrapping paper, then this sticky stuff. Try as I might it still ends up with wrinkles (bit like me) and it does pay to stay as far away from me as possible when I undertake this task. And why oh why, do the schools insist in releasing these school books on poor unsuspecting grandparents in one of the hottest seasons of the year. Yes I know leave it till it is cooler, but easier said than done when you have a grand-daughter begging for you to do it now. She tried to cheer me up by saying, “don’t worry about the wrinkles Nan, when I am bored at school I just work on pressing them all out!” Silly Nan, and I thought they went to school to learn. Perhaps the wrinkles are revenge from all of my children’s school books that I have stored in the very top of the linen cupboard. One day I will give them to the three of them, but hey I have had them for so long now…what does another day, week or year matter. Anyway they bring back memories. I can see at the very bottom, brown paper, then wallpaper and, my goodness, Holly Hobby wrapping paper. Then atop the huge pile are the wrinkly ones - seven years worth from my grandchildren.

School Expenses:

After paying for school fees, books and college uniform, the first day of school dawns and what did grand-daughter come home with? A note for $20 for locker hire also another that stated they would have to pay for their student ID and yet another for $5.50 for fees to attend a swim meet. All in the first week, so goodness knows what the rest of the year will bring in ‘extras’!

Apologies:

January newsletter: Jill Worrall’s surname was incorrectly spelt.

Palmerston North Support group of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren:

Marcia Neilson ph 06 353 8598 email marcia@spinningplanet.com would really like to hear from you so she can get this group established and up and running.

And

Hastings Support group of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren:

There has been a need for a group in this area also as the old one shut down many years ago, Marcia is keen to get this support group up and running again. See above for contacts.

TV Appearances:

Lorraine Colvin, our Southland Co-ordinator, appeared on Southland TV which aired the week of 23rd Feb on sky channel 90, speaking on GRG issues. The Trust also did filming for a new upcoming documentary for TV3. We will let you know when it goes to air.

GRG Research Release:

Keep an eye out and an ear tuned in for the media on this amazing research on March 11th. Get on to those talkback stations and really get this going, for it will be in your interests.

Unsupported Child Benefit/Orphans Benefit:

On April 1st 2005 these benefits go up $15 per week per child. Please check your payments.

Working for Families ad campaign launched

An advertising campaign launched this week 8/2/05 is urging New Zealand families to find out what they can gain from the Working for Families package, Social Development and Employment Minister Steve Maharey said today. TV, radio and newspaper advertisements will raise awareness of 1 April increases to Family Assistance and the Accommodation Supplement, and 3 October increases to Childcare Assistance.

"From 1 April this year, 260,000 families – about 55% of all families – will be entitled to more money from Working for Families," Steve Maharey said.

"The changes will put more money in the pockets of low to middle income families through increased support for living costs, housing and childcare.

"It is important that all New Zealand families are aware of these new entitlements to ensure they have the chance to benefit from the additional support."

The advertisements will encourage families to check their entitlement by visiting the Working for Families website or calling the free phone numbers.

Key changes from 1 April are:

· Family support will increase by $25 a week for the first child and $15 a week for each additional child.

· Maximum rates for the Accommodation Supplement will increase in a number of areas to reflect the growing cost of housing - particularly in Central and North Auckland.

· Foster Care Allowance, Unsupported Childs Benefit and Orphans Benefit will all increase by $15 per child.

From October there will be a 10% increase in child subsidy rates on top of last year's initial 10% rise. This means working families will be eligible for up to $156 per week, per child in childcare assistance. In addition to these changes, childcare assistance is now available to families on higher incomes.

"Nearly 80,000 people are already benefiting from Working for Families. The changes at 1 April are a major boost to support already available and will ensure work pays for all New Zealand families," Steve Maharey said.

The free phone number for Family Assistance information is 0800 227 773 and for Accommodation and Childcare is 0800 774 004.

The GRG Trust is consulting with the Ministry of Social Development on the new ‘Help for Kinship Carers’ booklet which will contain all the new increases. We have also placed an order for 2000 of these booklets.

For our Marlborough Grandparents:

Ngati Apa has been successful in obtaining funding from the SKIP (Strategies with Kids Information for Parent) programme in the Ministry of Social Development to begin the programme. We would have wished to provide a service to all grandparents regardless of the age of their grandchildren, but at this point in time SKIP funding must target the 0 – 5 age group. This will be our target group this year.

Our programme is designed to provide a forum where this group of grandparents can come together, meet each other and identify the issues they have in common and then over the next twelve months we will develop on going seminars and focus groups to address those issues. We are confident that at the end of that time there will be self sustaining support groups in the Marlborough region. Any or all of those groups may wish to reactivate a connection to Grand Parents Raising Grandchildren Trust and affiliate with the national body. We will encourage that process

In our work this year we will also provide individualised social work support to grandparents caring for grandchildren. This support will involve developing goal directed plans with the family concerned and working along side the family to reach those goals.

We will be working in partnership with SKIP. This programme has identified out of Otago University Research the really key messages and skills that lead to effective and positive parenting of the 0- 5 age group. They are providing us with colourful attractive publicity and promotional materials that high light these key messages.

We are calling our programme ‘Growing Great Grandchildren’. Our foundation vision provided by our kaumatua is Te Matauranga o nga Taua -The wisdom of the grandparents. That wisdom is enshrined in the reality that our grand children are our future, and the way we grow them now will decide the future for all of us.

Our first public hui/seminar is planned for the 1st March 2005. It will be held in the Wesley Centre 3 Henry Street Blenheim from 9:30am to 12:00 noon.

The contacts for this programme are Rosemary Sutherland and Karen Martin on Blenheim (03) 5788768.

Our 0800 Number:

This has been the target of numerous ‘hoax’ calls. All were young boys probably 12 -15 years of age. It appears they were texting others to get them to join in. A Jason was one of them. We have the cell phone numbers of 4 of them, but some were blocked calls. The ones whose cell phone numbers, which came up on our caller ID have been reported to Telecom. This is annoying as it is a waste of my time but also these calls cost the Trust. They did not just ring once, every 15 minutes they were calling, over a five hour period. They finally bored of this ‘game’.

Sibling Rivalry in last Months Newsletter: From one of our members.

Thank you so much for this article. I have been struggling on and off for 5 years with this problem and never felt it would come to an end between my three children. My elder son and daughter were very close until the second foster son arrived. Since then at times it’s been like a clunky wheel around here and we despaired of ever finding tools as parents to help the children to work out their differences without having to step in and sort it out all the time. I felt that if I heard the expression, “it’s not fair!” one more time I would totally lose it. It nearly broke me as I just couldn’t ‘fix it’ to satisfy everyone.

After reading this excellent advice, I’m now handling the situation a whole different way, and its working!!!!! Could I please have some more information by Anthony Kane if possible? Thank you for your excellent newsletter which I look forward to receiving.

Anthony Kane’s web site is http://addadhdadvances.com

Families Commission:

They have visited the GRG Trust office to get an understanding of the issues effecting GRG families. They felt we were often overlooked. But no longer is this the case.

Have you moved or are you planning to? Be sure to let us know your new address.

Article from England for NZ Grandparents raising Grandchildren:

Hi to all you grands in New Zealand, from a grand here in England.

My husband and I have been caring for our two granddaughters permanently for the past twelve years. This was because our daughter had a mental breakdown, resulting in hospitalisation, for almost a year, and finally deciding to divorce her husband when she recovered. The girls had always spent a great deal of time with us prior to the breakdown, and had moved in on numerous occasions, in our attempts to help their mum and dad sort themselves out.

However this was not to be, and once our daughter had filed her divorce the children’s father removed the girls and stopped all contact. Familiar story? All too familiar I know. So, eighteen months of hell ensued, battling for contact, trying to support our daughter through her recovery, finding a new home for her, and in a permanent state of anxiety about the girls.

At the time I was a social worker, who ran a family centre for the local authority, so was very used to dealing with dysfunctional families, but oh my when its your own, how much more difficult it is. I was determined to keep my professional persona in tact, and told very few colleagues about our trauma. I attended ward round, and case reviews, for our daughter, and how I hated them. I had been to many such meetings during my career, but never for my own family. I knew almost all the other professionals, and I battled not to cry, or show any chink in my armour!!!

My husband and I continued working, and started court proceedings to enable us to see the girls. Of course the children’s father qualified for legal aid, so was happy to drag things out as long as possible. He would agree with everything in court, and then not allow it to happen in reality, when we turned up to collect the girls. We did get some spasmodic visits, and the girls begged us not to return them to their dad, but we were so scared to do the “right thing”, should we be seen as unsuitable grandparents. I am sure there are many of you who have been through the same proceedings, so I won’t labour on about the heartache over those eighteen months.

Eventually, having set out to get a contact order, we ended up with a Residence Order, costing us five thousand pounds. The girls dad walked out of court saying he never wanted to see the girls again, and that has been the case, in spite of our attempts to get him to see them. He has a new partner, with two girls the same age as our two, and shows no interest although he only lives five minutes away.

So the girls were six and nine when they came to live permanently, and are now 22 and 19 years of age. They are still living with us.

At the time that we took on the girls, we knew of no other grandparents who were raising their grandchildren. However in my work at the Family Centre, slowly referrals began to come through for some provision of day for grandparent carers. I was obviously very interested to meet these people and would spend time over a cup of tea trying to support them. Eventually we had enough to form a small group, and in 1994 I founded the “SECOND GENERATION” support group. We had our tenth birthday last October.

Unlike you New Zealanders, ours was the only group of its kind in the country. I did get to hear of the Grandparents Association, a national organisation who were fighting for grandparents rights, and who were keen to hear about our group, and they have been a source of inspiration to us ever since. They have the expert knowledge for all our queries, legally, financially, and emotionally, and are always at the other end of a telephone.

The other group that has given us such hope, inspiration and support has been the Family Rights group. I have been doing some work with them over the past three years. We were fortunate to get some home office funding to pilot a “grandparent training pack, due to be published very soon, and had excellent input to the ideas for the book. Our group has gone from strength to strength. We have a weekly attendance of 12 - 16 grandparents, and a mailing list of 50. Most of the people on the mailing list are unable to attend the group due to work commitments, or because it is too far to travel.

Why is this particular group of grandparents raising their grandchildren? The reasons as you can imagine are as long as a piece of string, but range from:

· death of the child’s parent
· mother too young to parent

· mental health problems
· drug or alcohol misuse of parents

· those deemed as unsuitable parents by the courts
· parents who are in prison.

Our youngest member is forty, our oldest is seventy five. There are three couples who attend weekly, three single parent grandparents, and the rest are couples but only one half attend. We meet at the local office of the Council for voluntary services, and pay a nominal weekly rent. We have a savings scheme, whereby people pay in as when they want to, and save for Christmas, holidays or whatever.

So what do we do each week at the group? Talk!! And can we talk. We talk about everything - the kids, finances, our health, the soaps, world news, whatever. Knowing that the members in the group know exactly how it is to raise children the second time around is a wonderful feeling.

Occasionally we invite speakers from benefits agencies, social services, health or education departments, or any subject we want to know more about.

We have done a lot of work with the media, appearing on various television shows, and news bulletins regarding Grandparenting issues.

We have quite few visitors who are doing research about parenting the second time around, and because there are so few support groups in England, they choose to come to us.

We have a clothing and equipment exchange amongst ourselves, as our kids grow and try to help each other as much as we can.

We have several outings a year, sometimes a show in London, a trip to the sea side for the kids, and always a pantomime for us all at Christmas. The kids have a strong bond with each other, even though they only get together occasionally.

So why did we take on the grandchildren, and was there any choice? In our group only three families have any involvement at all with social services. These were children who had been on some sort of order from the local authority, prior to their family breakdown. These children were mainly on child protection orders, and grandparents were asked if they would take the child/ren when they were removed from their parents. The alternative was that the children would be placed in foster care, and grandparents would have very minimal contact. If it was deemed that the child/ren would not be returned to their family, then chances were they would be placed for long term fostering or adoption, and in the experience of our group, all contact is lost.

So naturally, all these grandparents decided to take the children. Often the children were removed from the child protection register once they were with grandparents, and in many cases grandparents were encouraged to take out residence orders, thus relieving the local authority of another case, and not having to make payments. Payments for a residence order are at the local ‘authorities’ discretion, they are means tested, and very few qualify. Of course most people are delighted to have no involvement with social services, but would love to receive a regular payment to ease their worries, especially those living on the old age pension.

If grandparents do agree to take on grandchildren for the local authority, most have to be assessed as suitable carers, and many find this very intrusive, at a time when they feel most vulnerable about their family falling apart.

So what about all the other grandparents who social services know nothing about, that’s two thirds of our group? Well, they are paid their child benefit, and that is it. There is no support of any kind from the local authority, and they do not know these families exist. We have no idea how many there are, and have recently carried out a mail shot in Peterborough to try to reach as many grands carers as we can. Social services are readily referring anyone they hear about to the group, and I have started my rounds of the area teams to talk about grandparent carers. I guess at some point the group will become unmanageable for me, and we will have to form more groups in our area.

Meantime, I am happy to continue my voluntary work with this group of people who are all doing their very best for their grandchildren’s future.

My husband and I are hoping to visit New Zealand later this year, and would really like to visit some of your groups, and meet as many grands and their children as we can.

Email the Trust office if you wish to extend an invitation to Chris when they visit NZ.

And from Australia:

Fact sheet - Child Care Benefit - Extra Assistance for Grandparent Carers:
What is the waiver of the Child Care Benefit (CCB) Work, Training and Study Test?
Grandparents who have the primary responsibility for raising and caring for a grandchild may now be entitled to additional assistance with the costs of approved child care. From 1 November 2004, the CCB work, training and study test will be waived for eligible grandparents who have the primary care of their grandchildren. This will enable grandparent carers to access up to 50 hours of CCB for each child in approved care each week. Previously, grandparent carers could only receive CCB for up to 20 hours per week if they were not working, training or studying.

Who is eligible for the waiver of the CCB work, training and study test?
To be eligible for the waiver a grandparent must be:

· the natural, adoptive, or step grandparent of the child. Great-grandparents who are looking after grandchildren are eligible in the same way as grandparents; or

· the current or former partner of a grandparent if they are the primary carer of the grandchild; and

· the sole or major provider of ongoing daily care for the grandchild; and

· have substantial autonomy for the day-to-day decisions about the child's care, welfare and development; and

· meet existing eligibility requirements for approved care

What is Grandparent Child Care Benefit (GCCB)?
To assist grandparents with the costs of child care, from 3 January 2005, subject to the passage of legislation, Grandparent Child Care Benefit (GCCB) will be available to eligible grandparents caring for their grandchild and who are in receipt of an Income Support Payment. GCCB will cover the full cost of child care for up to 50 hours for each child in approved care each week. In certain circumstances you may be able to get GCCB for more than 50 hours per week.

Who is eligible for GCCB?
To be eligible for GCCB, a grandparent must:

· meet the eligibility requirements outlined for the waiver of the CCB work, training and study test; and

· be in receipt of an Income Support Payment.

An Income Support Payment is any of the following:

· Age Pension
· Austudy Payment

· Bereavement Allowance
· Carer Payment

· Community Development Employment Project (CDEP)
· Disability Support Pension

· Disability Support Pension (Blind)
· Youth Allowance

· Mature Age Allowance
· Mature Age Partner Allowance

· Newstart Allowance
· Parenting Payment

· Partner Allowance
· Sickness Allowance

· Special Benefit
· Special Needs Pension

· Widow Allowance
· Widow B Pension

· Wife Pension
· Department of Veterans Affairs Income Support Supplement or Service Pension

GCCB is only available to customers who claim CCB as reduced fees, and cannot be claimed as a lump sum payment.

How do I apply?
To apply for the waiver of the work, training and study test and/or GCCB, grandparents need to contact the Family Assistance Office to advise that they OR their partner:

· are the grandparent caring for their grandchild, and

· have the primary care of the child, and

· are eligible for CCB for approved child care

The Family Assistance Office may ask for more information.

How do I find a local child care provider?
You can phone the Child Care Access Hotline on 1800 607 305 for information on child care services available in your area.

What if I am not the primary carer but provide some care for my grandchild?
Grandparents who are providing child care for their grandchildren, but are not the primary carers, are not eligible for GCCB or the waiver of the CCB work, training and study test. They may wish to consider becoming a Registered Carer if they charge a fee for the child care provided.

Where do I go for more information?
* Call the Family Assistance Office on 13 6150 between 8.00am and 8.00pm (local time) Monday to Friday. * Visit the website at www.familyassist.gov.au.

* Visit the nearest Family Assistance Office located in all Centrelink Customer Service Centers, Medicare offices and Tax Office shop fronts.

* You can also print a copy of the Important Information for Grandparent Carers Flyer.

Come on NZ follow the example from Australia, here is the working model for you to use!

Children with Developmental Injuries Caused by Horrible Experiences

with Beverly James

Compass Seminars is delighted to invite you to spend the day with Beverly James, an internationally regarded, Hawaiian based clinical social worker and professional educator who is a pioneer in the fields of childhood trauma and resulting attachment problems. Beverly is a sought after keynote speaker at major international conferences and has been a visiting lecturer at various medical schools including Harvard’s Department of Psychiatry. She has authored three books, including the popular “Handbook for the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Problems in Children”. Beverly will be presenting two New Zealand seminars in Wellington (March 9th) & Christchurch (March 21st).

Workshop Overview

Children can have long-lasting injuries to their development when they experience events such as prenatal assaults; parental or community maltreatment; painful medical procedures; violence in the environment; serial home placements; or fragmented, inadequate professional help. Assaults to children’s development can result in confusing, varied and hidden survival behaviors that escalate and change as they mature often resulting in misdiagnoses, conflicts among professionals, frustrated and bewildered parents and defeated children.

Research and experience is showing that, in addition to disturbed behavior, the youngsters’ injuries can interfere with brain growth, emotional regulation, and their social and moral development. Parents, caregivers, and helping professionals are often overwhelmed in their efforts to understand the children’s complex needs and disturbing behaviours. The children often mightily resist physical and emotional affection, yet crave closeness and intimacy; they seem to deliberately do things that will get them into trouble; they have fits or emotional meltdowns for no apparent reason, they do dangerous things, often don’t feel pain, and always want to be in control.

In her creative & enthusiastic way, Beverly will answer questions like: Why do these youngsters behave that way? Is there hope these children will recover? Where do I begin? What do I do? She will discuss and demonstrate specific examples of treatment interventions and present a range of effective and creative approaches that assist in the promotion of attachment and emotional regulation.

This seminar will be of real benefit to all professionals working with troubled or traumatized children, regardless of the context. We encourage you to register early as we are anticipating that these workshops will be fully subscribed.

Wellington: March 9th. The Convention Centre, Wakefield Street 9am-3pm

Christchurch: March 21st.The Town Hall, 95 Kilmore Street 9am-3pm

Cost: $165 (or $180 if you would like a copy of the workshop handbook that accompanies the seminar). Lunch and tea breaks will be catered.

To register visit www.compass.ac.nz, or send your name, address, phone number and email address to Compass Seminars, PO Box 5119, New Plymouth. Please be sure to indicate if you wish to attend the Wellington Seminar or the Christchurch Seminar. Any queries call Compass seminars on 06 7591647.

BARNARDOS FAIR CENTRE TURNS 10!

This year the FAIR Centre celebrates 10 years of service to the community.

“The FAIR Centre is unique,” says Acting Manager Darion Webber. “As well as providing a free nationwide information service through our 0800 line, we produce regular up-to-date information sheets for distribution to organisations and individuals throughout the country and a library service for Barnardos staff.

“Often callers ring and say that they don’t know if we’ll be able to help… usually we can, by providing practical advice, giving information from our information sheets, or referring them to another community service.”

Nearly 235,000 people called the FAIR Centre over the last decade, almost one-fifth of them last year. They rang seeking information on a range of issues, including benefits, family law, local support services, child support and custody rights.

“Some 30,000 information sheets were distributed to free phone callers as well as to our 580 subscribers,” says Darion. “On top of that the library issued more than 1200 items to Barnardos staff in the last business year and another 700 have been issued so far this year.”

“We are really proud of the FAIR Centre and only wish that more people knew how much we have to offer” says Darion.

Contact Fair Centre on 0800 222 345

The Power of Play Seminar: Seminar Overview

Dr Steve Harvey

Date of Seminar:
16 March 2005
Alexandra Park Function Centre
Epsom Auckland
Lunch & Morning tea supplied.
$159 or $174 with handbook

To register contact

Craig McKenzie
Compass

Visit: www.compass.ac.nz
PO Box 5119
New Plymouth (NZ)
Ph: 06 7591647
Mobile: 021 1371990
Fax: 06 7591648

craig@compass.ac.nz
Most children play in an open & energetic way. Improvised stories, drama, and creative physical games occur spontaneously when children are around friends and family, or when they spend time by themselves. When asked, they say they play because it is "fun". However when observed closely a range of social and emotional needs are often simultaneously being addressed. Inner conflicts are being expressed and worked through, friendships are being developed, and attachment relationships with important adults are being created and regenerated.

This workshop will explore the powerful therapeutic potential of play based assessments and interventions that can be used with children. The major play therapy approaches will be overviewed and several highly effective intervention strategies explored. Specific play based techniques will be presented which can be used alongside other verbal or behavioural counselling approaches, or on their own as a dynamic play focused intervention. Specific attention will also be given to assessments and interventions that can be used with:

· More disturbed children especially those who have experienced psychological trauma

· Oppositional children.

· Family groups

Steve will also examine how art, movement, drama, story telling & video can be integrated with play interventions to maximise their effect.

Steve Harvey, Ph.D is a licensed Clinical Psychologist who recently emigrated from the United States. He has worked clinically for many years as a Child Psychologist and has consulted extensively internationally in the areas of Play Therapy and the use of Expressive Arts Therapies with families. He is widely published and is a member of the Association of Play Therapy and a Registered Play Therapy Supervisor. Steve's depth of knowledge combined with his creative, down to earth presentation style means that participants will leave with a range of new techniques that can be immediately incorporated into their own professional setting. This workshop will be of relevance to anyone who has an interest in working creatively with children & young people (not just counsellors and therapists)

There are two lasting legacies we can hope to give to our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings.

Anonymous

E te Atua, aroha mai..... O God shower us with love.

Di

Convenor and the team. return to top