Incredible people doing incredible things: greetings and Kia Ora.
Membership 3066 families
Your Stories:
Easing the financial pressure
of Christmas:
For the first time in nearly 7 years of being a solo GRG, and each
year experiencing the financial pressures the festive season brings,
I subscribed to CHRISCO 's - Christmas Hamper Club. I had to budget
carefully, and there were weeks when I needed the money I had committed
to this Christmas Club. However, as with most challenges we Grands
face, I managed to get through knowing the sacrifice would pay off.
Delivery time has arrived. With Farmers and The Warehouse vouchers,
and carton upon carton of grocery items - even a Xmas Ham - all
I can say is that I won’t have to grocery shop for quite some
time. And the four Grandchildren’s new bikes (already on lay-by
since the October sale) can be paid and collected next week. I have
NEVER had such ease of Christmas presents before. And I am very
proud of myself!
I know that we can all buy 'specials' much cheaper, but seriously
who of us do this and put aside or stock up in preparation for this
expensive time of the year. I have tried, but on a 'short of $$$'
week, these extras get used. I would certainly recommend to any
of our grands that find this time of the year financially stressful,
that they look into Chrisco (or similar). Even if not for the grocery
items, but the retail vouchers. I will continue with my 'compulsory
saving' every year now, and wish I had done so years ago. Think
about this now for next Christmas.
Our very best wishes, to all Grands and Grandchildren: from Denise
and her four grandchildren.
Not just the Babysitter!
I went to the bank the other day, after school. The teller was friendly,
chatty asked. "Are you doing a bit of baby-sitting?" she
asked. Before I had time to respond my moko replied in a rather
indignant tone, "She's not a babysitter, she's my Grandma!"
?
They Can Behave:
I am so proud of my Grandson, We have started a new venture, taking
care of the elderly, and just when you think you cannot take anymore
of pre-teen behaviour, the little darlings come up trumps. We had
a 90 yr old and her 60yr old brain damaged son for a week and my
boy was the perfect child, polite, lovely table manners, joined
in conversations and a general joy to have around. The guests left
yesterday and today was the usual yelling match to get him off to
school, but I now know he can come up trumps when he needs to and
I am not so worried about him now.
return to top
43 Years Married:
Grandmother is 74 her husband has developed Parkinson’s. She
was advised that he needed to go into 24 hour care. Their 15 year
old grand-daughter whom has lived with them since she was 6 weeks
old also completes this little family. Grandmother decided that
Grandfather needed to be home with them and since his return to
the family he has rallied. Grand-daughter was accepted on the Spirit
of Adventure last year and hopes to go again next year. Sadly the
respite care days Grandmother got for grandfather was cut substantially
making her burden that much heavier.
Well Done:
I took over raising my grandson a month before his 3rd birthday.
His parents had split and neither felt they could look after him
properly so we all went to court and I was given custody with guardianship
remaining with his parents. When he turned 4 yrs, I found it impossible
to run my own business any more, and give him the attention he craved,
so applied for the DPB and, because I had legal custody, I got it.
Having legal custody was important as when he was 7 his mother decided
she wanted him back. I knew he was not ready and fought to keep
him. My son, his father wanted him to stay here, as well. Having
legal custody meant the court judge gave more credence to my claim
to keep him. After nine months of legal wrangling and $0000's his
mother backed off.
At 6yrs he was diagnosed with ADHD, although I call it 'the inability
to internalise cognitive thought'. He is a talker; not an aggressive
one just very manipulative with words when he wants something. At
about 8yrs I finally forbade him to say 'Why' anymore. All through
school his reports stated that if he wouldn't be so distractible
and settle to his work he could do better. At 10 SPELD tested him
and proved he had an academic age of 16 except in short term memory
which was 9.
He is now nearly 16, is sitting NCEA, getting extremely high marks,
has brought home the first wonderful report in which all his teachers
say he has a lovely personality and has settled down well, has a
part time job at McDonalds, loves to look good, has great friends,
and loves doing things with this old lady. We live with my daughter,
his aunt, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and he visits both his parents quite often.
He doesn't want to leave now because his life is here until he has
finished Secondary school and can go on to University.
The decision to take over bringing him up, even though my own children
were grown and gone, was a hard one to make at the time, but neither
I, nor my grandson regret it. My daughter treats him more like a
brother as she has lived with us for the past 8yrs and they get
on well together. She and I quite often laugh over the teenage things
he does, and I am able to point her to the fact that she was like
that at that age, too.
return to top
She very sporty is our girl:
I am a 73 yr old Nanna and my 11 yr old grand daughter has been
with me since she was 2 years old. Her Dad lives with me also.
But I am her Mum.
From a little tiny tot we noted above average coordination, motor
skills and agilities. At Kindy she stood out, and the same at Primary
school and now at Intermediate.
A few weeks ago she attended the Auckland Junior Swimming Championships
and won 5 gold medals, 8 medals in total, the most for a female.
The amazing feat was that she had only just over a year of competitive
swimming. She has recently joined the Athletic Club and attended
a Pentathlon Meet, and got the award for highest overall points
combined both boys and girls.
Earlier in October she attended the U14 Basketball Nationals. She
has been a basketball representative for 2 years. Her life is very
busy, but she still managed to pass her first keyboard music exam.
As a Maori girl we hope her outstanding achievements will be a
good role model to other children who are in the care of their grandmothers
and yet can pursue sporting events. Most of the time, I catch the
bus or walk, to the practices as I do not drive anymore. The schedules
are busy. Her father is very supportive of her.
My moko also sings at times and lately in a duet with her Dad at
a church service.
In the meantime we enjoy the clean living and goal focused sporting
environment. I have never been to so many sports events and experienced
so many winning outcomes by my granddaughter. We enjoy it. But I
am grateful for the brief teaching moments to share my life experiences,
cultural values and strong work ethic to my grandchild. Important
strong family values are core to my ideals, and consider ourselves
very fortunate and blessed to have a talented bundle of joy in our
midst. We know her life could have been very different.
return to top
It has been a hard year:
But……
Late this year my dearly loved husband passes away, this left me
with the 3 grandchildren to raise alone. We did not have a funeral
plan but fortunately the Undertakers were very understanding and
have allowed me to pay off the bill weekly. But at 76 and on a pension
and with 3 growing grandchildren to say things are tough ….well
enough said. A neighbour kindly arrived over the other day with
a Christmas tree for us. I was humbled by this wonderful gesture.
The children and I walked to the local $2 shop and purchased some
tinsel and cheap decorations. We rummaged through the wardrobe and
found the ones from last year, which were past there best but never
mind. The smell of the pine wafts through the whole house, the sun
catches on the tinsel and it almost has a golden glow. Each morning
as I catch sight of this tree it reminds me of how lucky I am to
have such caring neighbours and to top it off the neighbour also
said he will take over the mowing of my lawns. And I have been told
we will be getting a food parcel from the Salvation Army this year.
We are indeed blessed.
We at GRG Trust are just amazed and humbled by your stories, your
courage, humour, tenacity, sacrifice and commitment. God bless you
all!
Media release 28th November 2005:
The State Services Commissioner, Mark Prebble, today announced the
appointment of Shenagh Gleisner as the Acting Chief Executive of
the Department of Child, Youth and Family Services.
“Shenagh will start from the time Paula Tyler leaves the
job,” Mr. Prebble said. Ms Gleisner will be in the role until
a new chief executive is appointed. Shenagh Gleisner is currently
the Chief Executive of the Ministry of Women’s Affairs. She
is a trained social worker with extensive management experience.
Carolyn Risk has been appointed as the Acting Chief Executive of
the Ministry of Women’s Affairs for the period that Ms Gleisner
is away from the Ministry.
return to top
Sunday News Article: 4 Dec
2005
An article was in this publication recently and this is something
we had in our newsletter several months ago. Due to the interest
in this we have repeated this again.
PORSE NZ:
This is a service for people who look after other peoples children
and it is not available to parents. Porse is in-home childcare and
offers grandparents/kin support in so many ways including a precious
journal, treasuring those moments through the child’s day,
visits from a qualified programme manager to offer ideas, support
and a wealth of knowledge. Children and families have the opportunity
to meet other families and children through our weekly playschool
and regular outings in the community. Providing, that the Grandparents/kin
carers have: no legal status over the children IE custody/guardianship
nor are the children under CYF. This is also available to grandparents
who care for their grandchildren whilst their parents are working
apparently.
Grandparents/kin may even qualify for a PORSE contribution of up
to $160. This PORSE contribution is tax free and non income tested.
Please contact the co-ordinator near you. There may be an initial
set up fee.
0880 WHATSUP 0r 0800 9428787
National Telephone Counselling:
Children 5 – 18 years of age can call WHATSUP Noon till midnight,
seven days a week. It’s free to call about anything. No problem
too big or too small. It’s confidential and WHATSUP will not
tell anyone what they have been told. Children do not have to give
their names. If lines are busy, please try again.
Now one for the grown –ups…
Barnardos Parent/Grandparent Help Line: 0800 4727368:
Auckland area call 625 0562.
If you are finding parenting stressful and need to talk to someone,
we’re here to help on the end of the phone.
Our trained telephone counsellors provide a sympathetic listening
ear, immediate support, parenting information and a chance to explore
options. Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm.
In Our November Newsletter:
We spoke about Grandparents on their Super being contacted by Work
& Income and the possibility of them being eligible for the
same payments as Foster Caregivers if the Government's recently
announced policy is passed into legislation.
It has been suggested by some members that as an organisation the
Trust and its support group members should reject this potential
offer until all grandparents raising their grandchildren become
eligible for the same payments.
The Trust believes it is inappropriate to reject this policy outright
or to suggest to individual members that they should not accept
this potential increase in their income to support the grandchildren
in their care. To accept the Government's increase in support is
an individual choice and not something the Trust has the right to
do for you all.
The Trust will continue to lobby the Government that grandparents
raising their grandchildren as primary caregivers should receive
parity with foster caregivers. The Trust sees this recent announcement
by the Government as a door opening, a beginning, a start in the
right direction. We firmly believe that all grandparents raising
their grandchildren should be entitled to the same payments as foster
caregivers and as such the United Nations Convention on the Rights
of the Child compels the State to treat all children (regardless
of whose care they are in) equally and fairly under the law. This
position was one of the Trust's founding objectives and we will
continue to push for policy and law changes so that all grandparent
caregivers receive parity with foster caregivers.
We are not there yet and there is still much work to be done - but
considering our lobbying and pleas to the Government over the past
six years has until now been met with a firm "No this will
never happen" it is heartening that our members are finally
being recognised.
For those who are not currently potentially eligible for the increased
payments please don’t lose heart. Be pleased that for those
over 65 who raise their grandchildren, and consider this a step
up towards parity for all of you who raise our Mokopuna. GRG Trustee's
return to top
GRG Photo Project – From Catherine Pinal
Dear Grands and Caregivers,
Thanks to those of you, who have kindly shared your time with me.
Sharing your experiences has been valuable to my understanding of
what families are going through, and I'm looking forward to working
with you to complete a project that draws attentions to the issues
faced by grands and caregivers.
In some of our discussions, many of the same questions have come
up that I thought I'd address. I hope this information helps and
I look forward to hearing from you.
What is the GRG photo project?
I would like to take a series of portraits of your families in the
special situations that depict grandparents raising grandchildren.
I aim for the portraits to capture the emotion, challenges, and
joy we all face when raising children. The goal is for these portraits
to be published as a book that will help raise awareness for the
GRG Trust.
Does it cost grands or caregivers anything to participate?
No, definitely not.
Who will be photographed?
• Grands/caregivers with grandchildren;
• Grands/caregivers on their own (no grandchildren in photograph);
• Infants / Children / Teens (grands/caregivers not in photograph)
Note: grandparents/caregivers must be present.
Alternatively I can photograph items of significance, such as school
or sport awards, artwork, baby cot, sport gear, favourite toys,
etc.
Does my face or grandchild’s face need to be shown in the
portrait?
No. If you prefer, I can photograph in such a way that your face
or that of your grandchild is not shown or recognised.
Who will see the photographs?
The initial portraits will be sent to grant agencies to ask for
funding. The goal being to create a book of portraits that can be
used to raise awareness for the GRG Trust.
People who might see these portraits include:
• Staff at the grant agencies;
• Staff at Wellington Photographic Supplies (Vivian St, Wgtn)
who may create the enlargements or develop negatives;
• Other individuals who may donate time, services or advice
such as picture framers, book publishers, and editors.
Other people who might see these portraits - further down the line
but not to be overlooked:
• Anyone who buys the book;
• Anyone who borrows the book from a library;
• Readers of newspapers or news magazines - i.e., if the GRG
chooses to have the photo project reviewed in The Listener, NZ Herald,
Dominion Post or similar.
What else might the book contain?
Comments from grands, caregivers, and children would enhance the
portraits and give participating families a "chance to have
their say" - this could be in the form of advice to other caregivers
who are in similar situations; good news/bad news; milestones reached.
Do I need to give my permission for a portrait to be taken?
Yes. I need permission to take your photograph and that of your
grandchild.
What might the book look like?
A good example “All Good Children - Life in a New Zealand
Children’s Health Camp” by Terry O’Connor and
Kathleen Findlay, Photoforum, 1983 (I have Xeroxed excerpts from
the book if you wish to have a look).
What if my situation changes? Can I withdraw from the project?
Yes. Please let me know as soon as possible if you need to withdraw.
I can be reached at:
Catherine Pinal
44 Boulcott St
Lower Hutt 6009
(04) 570 2372; email: pmsanders@xtra.co.nz
With Best wishes, Cathy
Another year draws to a close:
My goodness we can not believe how quickly this year has gone. It
seems like only yesterday we were celebrating the year 2000 and
here we are launching into 2006. Some children have finished school
and other just about to.
On behalf of the GRG Trustees we wish you a very happy Christmas
and a wonderful New Year. May your holidays with the children be
safe and happy. The Trust office this year for the first time will
be closed from 24th December until 12th January 2006.
Di
National Convenor and the team.
E te Atua, aroha mai..... O God shower us with love
Ka kite
* Please feel free to send this report on to others whom you think
may be interested:
* Please pass this on to other grandparents/kin carers you know
of.
* Views expressed in this newsletter may not be the views of the
GRG Trust.
* GRG Trust Head Office hours are 9am-3pm daily. (We raise grandchildren
too)
* We are totally a voluntary organisation.
Abbreviations:
• GRG – Grandparents Raising Grandchildren ™
• H/O – Head Office
• H/B – Handbook
• BOT – Board of Trustees
• CYF – Child Youth & Family Services • Co’s
– Co-ordinator/s
• UCB – Unsupported Child Benefit.
• WINZ – Work & Income NZ now DWI – Department
of Work & Income
• Grands – Grandparents
• G/c – grandchild/ren
Web: www.grg.org.nz or www.kin.org.nz or www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz
Email office@grg.org.nz
Free Phone 0800 GRANDS or 0800 472637 (not for use for Auckland
callers)
Tel: 09 4806530 Fax: 09 4806572 Postal Add: PO Box 34 892 Birkenhead.
Auckland
If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter please contact
the Trust Office as this is where the total mail out membership
is kept. Moved home or planning to? Be sure to let us know.
Te Tautoko i nga Mätua Tupuna, me nga Mokopuna.
Te Ao mai rano, aianei, a muri ake nei.
Supporting: Grandparents and grandchildren.
Our past: present and future.
